to sy:
Betrayal
by Dan McDonald
An echo fades into the night,
an eerie mournful sound.
A shooting star disappears from sight,
and I crumble to the ground.
There is no life within this garden;
my sobs are the only sound.
I have poisoned the honeyed fountain
where your love could be found.
Dazed, I stare at the stars above,
my grieving howls fill the night!
Unintended betrayal of love
has hidden you from my sight.
I remember how it used to be
when we shared our fears and delights.
You are a treasured friend to me.
How can I make things right?
Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,
I long to tell you how I feel,
but you don’t want to hear me.
The pain for you is much too real.
Should I back away and build a wall
and block away how I feel?
Or, should I give you a call?
We both need some time to heal.
An echo fades into the night
as our friendship disappears.
How do I know what is right?
How can I ease my fears?
If I do call you again,
would the old wounds reappear?
I can’t stand to cause you pain.
Hurting you again is my worst fear!
ok..so i cried my heart out..and me n xuan called a truce..we're frens!=) i'm realli happy..but how i wish i could be frens with the rest as well..it juz hasn't been the same.. so we stared talking..i mean..i realli am in a happier mood now!thnx xuan!
darn tt stupid blogger cannot publish chinese words
went to my aunt's wedding todae..not bad..got $20 juz by saying "Congratulations" twice..hehe..tt IMH patient sms-ed me..siao one lah..heard only 25 of us turned up for Crez Day..haiz..if i dun hv wedding to go i sure go..budden..cannot help it..got free choc. at the church..i'm telling ya'll JJ rox manz!!i luv his songs manz!got the vcd liaox..ah di so shuai kk!!i'm a 93.3 freak liaox..i'm like listening to it every nite..i luv the 'YY Yu Le'..even my mum was laffing like crap..anywayz..tmr is meteor garden 2 finale..so exciting..wanna noe wat happen..let's hope the lovers get together so i wun hv to scream at them on this again..lolx..oh..u noe wat..i only realised my 2nd aunt did a nose job...tt is SO FREAKY!!
to the infamous bitch utd:
hmm...thnx for reminding me to delete her as well..anywayz..female dog..watever u say..i dun care..let's juz hope u dun chicken out like a certain fren of urs!*smirks*
yesterday was so fun kaez!!lolx..sleep until so shuang..todae cs was dumb...lame like crap..ok..maybe we're going to sentosa to catch the courage fund concert..MAYBE only lah..todae we disfigured shaowei like siao(sorrie mao mao!!)..tt * dam wat..borrow thing oso cannot..so sickening..lucky janice help me..thnx!!i'm so happy.. tmr missing sch..=)auntie getting married..can get money..kk..later gonna go hse of starz..ttyl!!
whew..finally got the cd frm niu..todae was boring lah basically...neo lor..ok so we had a scare abt a spot check frm ms chia..siao manz..so my discman was in big trouble.. haiz..so we hid our stuff in the service duct in the male staff toilet..sick i noe..but den..panic manz..so when i went to get the stuff,she said "a!a!it's mine!'' since when did i become 'a'?nvm..so the other one was like acting queen of the world..total sickening i must say..i officially declare this entire wk ''suay week''!wah kao..strike 4D oso not so accurate..results came..then dunno why one of the biggest bitch in the world saw me(who cares?nvr see her can liaoz..din even noe she was even dere..whew lucky i nvr see her..if not realli more suay manz!)..then spot check like mad.
todae going lily's hse to stay..watch my energy tape and survivor finale tape..so happy!!u can pretty much claim i was in a bad mood todae..tt tupid yunxuan spilled mo4 on my shirt..lucky tt shirt already change colour..budden get new shirt..look like sec 1..*cringe*can't wait for the energy vcd to be out..=).todae's mood is:dun give a dam abt those bitches.=)
My Guardian Angel
by Andrea Bumstead
You hold my hand when I am weak,
And vulnerable at times.
And as you smile I cannot help
But turn my lips upward,
And duplicate the joy
Which lays spread across your face.
When I am sad or unsure,
You make me laugh.
And as you look into my eyes,
They seem to glitter and sparkle
With such energy and life
That I have never seen before.
And it makes me want to be closer to you
All the time.
And even when I am happy and content,
You are there for me.
Just in case I should happen to tumble or fall.
And as you laugh your sound carries across the room,
And it makes me want to be a better person.
As we go along together,
I realize how lucky I am
To be sharing my life with someone as special as you.
You are my everything;
My comfort, my weakness, my joy.
And I thank God everyday
For sending someone like you
To care and comfort me in times of need,
And to be my guardian angel.
For this I thank you,
And hope you will stay in my heart
Forever.
To my TRUE frens:thank you for sticking with me,thank you for consoling me,thank me for comforting me when bitch utd struck.thank you.
whew!!finally an update!!u wanna noe how crappy i felt w/o internet connection?thank god the one in my dad's room is working now!!these days were HELL!!my results came out.....i dunno wat so say..i realli hate my results...esp my languages..haiz...utterly hopeless..then bitch utd struck as usual.who cares?went to jp wif yunxuan,niu,janice and ah foo..so hilarious coz we were listening to 'shou qian shou' on the mrt and a-mei was like a screeching parrot on the song...*cringe*ew.yep..these few days...total disaster!
on monday,it was suay dae for us..to yoong:to hell wif neo lah!!she's juz some wrinkled up old woman who tinks she's the queen of the world. and as for the other one..dun care lah...ur the leader not her..she shld be the one listening to u,not vice versa!cheer up kz?oh and to peiqi:dun cry..it's not ur fault.. tt chia ntg better to do lah..old spinster!!hee.i'm sho evil..tt chia realli ntg better to do..evryday come and pick on our class..wat's her prob manz?siao..hope she go IMH!
tuesday was results day..ok..to describe it..i spent the entire day drowning myself in sad pathetic songs..and when he sms-ed me to asked me wat i was doin..i replied:wasting my pathetic and miserable life away...he tot i was gonna cry...budden i din..i went out to get my new hols diary..so cool kae...yup!my hols diary is out again..in case u guys dunno..it's this diary i keep only during the hols..i noe dam lame rite..muz be tinking why not write on my blog..actually there are things i realli wanna keep within me and i guess yeah..u geddit...
life realli sux..esp bitch utd!!u noe who rite?i'm not so shameless as to spell their names out..but all of u shld noe...*rolls eyes*i dun need them to ''survive'' in class..pls lor.. i dun care abt them...even deleted all of them frm MSN cept lysia..she's not so bad u noe..who cares whether u guys see me elsewhere or not?u dun fucking own the entire world u noe!hah!dun wanna say anymore...screw them lah!
i can't stand her!!so sickening!!she tink she queen of the world ah?!more like biggest bitch of the world!!tt's one title she deserves the most tt blardie apple polisher!!screw her!
ok so ncc was cool..we are lcps!!yay!!so happy!!we also got our total defence and pft badge..ok for once in my whhhole entire life..i'm gonna work hard for a gold for pft cos i want red badge!!hee..the tupid(oh shit i'm beginning to sound like tom!!)photo woman was so sickening lor!!they mixed part As and Bs together...then cos at tt time we no rank the only thing tt is diff. from part As is the nametag...*silence*wth?then some tupid part A pull my skirt juz now..!!^%%^%%#...blardie hell!!then they so rude to us somemore!!
i'm suppose to bathe right now to meet my mum at great world,but heck lah!my bro is playing cards with his fren..i feel like kicking him in the butt.he keeps asking me if he can play with my guitar..grr...NO!sch sux..esp todae!they made us sit at the AVT to write a play abt BGR..lame!700 words...*pangz* so we had nc todae.staff xingle and sgt ayesha talked to us and treat us jelly & 100plus..haiz feel realli bad ya noe..10 more wks b4 staff aida & sgt elaine r.o.d..i dun wanna regret the way i did last yr when senior r.o.d becoz i realli regretted not cherishing the time we had together..now she's not here...i miss her...i mean staff and sgt are realli great pple and i dun want history to repeat u noe..haiz..ok no more talking abt unhappy things...lemme share with u all my very interesting convo with tom!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
i came baq for 5 mins in time to c yr wunderfum nick!!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
yay!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
so beautiful rite?!!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
hmpff
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
tuppid mouse
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
mouse rox!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
cats are clumsy!!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
hu sae huh!!??!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
cats are agile creatures with a sharp eyesight and SHARP CLAWS
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
yah
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
pretty useless
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
=)
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
u be careful arh!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
tupid mouse
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
one dae i will coat u with my enzymes can!!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
eeeww!!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
i muz tink of a anti enzyme armour!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
hahah
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
den me----the smart cat---shall tink of an anti-anti enzyme enzyme
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
=)
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
ok
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
but mine more powerful!!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
mine beta k!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
mine is an enzyme
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
*looks proud*
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
scitifically proven!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
*pull cat's whiskers*
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
who more powerful?
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
mine is mouse proven!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
*plucks mouse whixkers*
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
my whiskers longer!
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
*take whiskers back and stick it bk with superglue*
=machi shu= forgot the milk!! tom has hair growing out of her nose during cs.lolx. says:
mine can re-stick one!
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
hahahhahahaahhahaahhahaahhahahahahaah
+=stupidmistake=+ ifailed. forgot the cheese.hee. picnic/rox!! supercat*yandaocat* x-mouse!=)spikymouse* says:
!!!
shit!!ruben won american idol!!*pui pui pui*i dun care..muz be biased now..stupid ruben sing my beloved westlife's ''flying without wings'' even tho westlife is not famous in america..u guys wanna noe why he sang tt?becoz simon cowell is westlife's producer wat!!so many of their songs he write/produce one!wah kao!!flying without wings is uk no.1 ok!!uk no.1 so hard to get!!then that stupid ruben disfigure the whole entire song!!so horrible!!i as a westlife fan is insulted by ruben's singing manz!!oh,and clay's new single includes ''on the wings of love''.it's a westlife song..but it's so beautiful!!i hate that stupid ruben!!hope u grow fatter!hmph!!!i want clay to win!!wah!!~i tell u ah,clay fans like me muz propably hate ruben like crap!!
ok...botanic gardens was nice..the picnic part i mean..the walking part..eew!45mins for each time..total 90mins for the entire journey!wah kao..tom chase me todae..but she oso try to ''strangle me'' aiyah..pose for pic only larh..lolx..we take pics like crap lor..so much tt tom can have her own xie zhen ji leh!haha..muz buy if it's out k!i forgot the choc. milk k!haiya..she oso forgot my cheese!nvm..next time..hehe..todae gen & co. pon sch..so lucky..no need walk..now me got blister liaox..
after sch me go watch x-men2 wif eunice,pei qi,yuting & sis..still as zhan as ever!!jean grey rawks!she luvs cyclops!!so loving!!ok i'm going nutz..anywayz..!#@%$ utd struck again..dun ask!
i was at orchard juz now..so when i was at talking hall at taka..so my mum accidently bump into some ang moh gurl.my mum apologised then guess wat she said..''sorry?!u tink sorry is enough?!''....wat the fuck manz!my mum juz glare at her..then i said very loudly..''BITCH!who the fucking hell do u tink u are?go home and zhao jing zi manz!''then her sis juz gave me this look like she very scared i whack her up or something..lolx..almost wanted to..i mean does she even fucking own the place?geez!pple apologised manz..if we din then we are at fault..but wat's her prob manz!carn stand pple like tt..tourist so wat?maybe if she covered her body wif more clothes and wiped away tt big grub of make up on her face if not dun come!hmpf!
i noe i juz posted one entry budden i juz remember something.mr samat is so weird!i mean real weird!he keeps coming to me and say ''paula,aiyoh paula.why so fierce?'' wah lau..u are the one who keep talking mah,so i muz answer crap lor.he keeps calling lao mao ''ah qi''.lolx manz.she was so pissed off..hehe..i tell u ah...sit behind very fun one.ya noe,she says i treat her as though she doesn't exist.honestly,do i?wat ya want me to do?geez.pple are juz so weird!
i swear my brother's obssessed with the blardie dictionary.he post-ited frm A-Z..oh manz..tt dictionary killed my brother!*gasp*juz kidding!so we went to cdans and bowled..i was abit rusty lah..but quite ok lah...enli was dying to bowl but no cash..dam funny..tt stupid man chase us out...almost wanted to diao him budden he not there..haiz..bought kfc's buddy meal..4 person share..lolx.. that guy at burger king was quite nice..push the chair away for us..we were having the ''ah lan'' and ''cyndi bmw'' joke...dam hilarious.. lolx.. so me and yunxuan left after 3 games.. then walk ard west mall looking for bella's prezzie budden cannot find.. and the stupid converse shop never sell the wrist band i wanted..nvm...next wk yunxuan say she accompany me go buy at jurong point..yay! oh and i tink i'm gonna fail art..i was like so ashamed by my art that when bee juan asked to see it i din let her cos very malu lah!sorrie bee juan!oh and Happy 14th Birthday Bianca!..looks like yoong and bella watched x-men..yoong is now the 14 yr old with the mentality of a 3 yr old..i tell u pple ah..eunice spread to me her deafness,lao mao her craziness and yoong her shen jing bing!die!
don't u juz hate the pop-up ads on the net? it's juz so freakin' annoying!it's like not one pop ups,but thousands of them manz.i like so sick of clicking them away.it's juz so weird cos juz as i log on,all the funny funny ads will pop up even before i enter a site.weird manz.kim locke got voted off american idol..for once america is right manz!first,they let charles go for nothing when julia is a screeching parrot.and then,rickey smith is voted off when josh gracin shld be off manz!of cos,there's the infamous carmen rasmusen!so ''call me'' gurl gets to stay when poor kimberly caldwell sang so beautiful!and then again,trenyce carn sing w/o looking like whitney!wake up gurl!ur like the 2nd version of carmen!yuck!oh,and ruben is so bor-ing!he sings the same pattern EVERYTIME!!
Ta-daa!!New layout!!Love the purpley flowers...hee!so darn proud of myself!i finished it all by MYSELF!so happy...hope ya'll like it too!~
went out wif yoong,janice and yunxuan.tt stupid yunxuan pinch me juz becoz i said kunda looks like lee wei.he does wat! chey.so happy..no more exams...well sort of...turns out he sms-ed me last nite but i was studying geog..so my fone wasn't on..only found out dis afternoon...well..i tink it's cool we're frens ya noe..it's better than hurting each other rite..bought play todae..so 'zhan' manz..dam cool..yeah...ok wanna watch tv.....peace out..
I'M FREE!~EXAMS ARE OVER!WHEE!~
he sms-ed me.*gasp* actually quite ok lah..who said exs can't be frens?=)
yahoo!rob nvr win the 1 million bucks!ok..so jenna wasn't the best person,but hey,rob sucks!he's such a pig!''you're just so stupid!go ahead and vote for me!".good riddance manz!lit was horrible!home ec..ok lah i have to admit..tmr maths and geog..
i'm trying to study(i think!).. yeah.. so bored out of my wits! brought my mum to eat sushi for mother's day..so i'm officially 22 bucks less.anywayz..wasn't so bad since i convinced her to get me the sling bad tt cost 33 bucks..*glee happily*..ok gtg...peace out.
1 word to describe today:horrendous!
english - yuck!
maths - it was raining..felt like sleeping..ZzZzZ..
science - do not even ask!
cs - one word: Qoo!!~(sense the sarcasm?)
my bro is selling his cards for 18 bucks and he's quarrelling with my mom as to whether 20 bucks was better or 18.sheesh.todae's lit lecture was so stupid!at least they turned on the air-con.thank god!tonite can finally watch survivor..i'm still pissed coz the finale is on monday and i carn watch!i got exams.hmph.i can't stand it.( * is a person) * kept taking my mag,no wait,demanded for my mag..we have decided not to say a word shld we have new mags to *..coz * is a cheapo!
todae when i walked with pat and eunice to bus stop,we saw gen on 132.she was standing right in front of the bus at the front.she wave to us den we started laughing and gen was so embarrassed coz she really looked so funny!of all place,why right in front? lolx. tt's all,ciao.
I HATE THE WORLD!
todae,pau went to sch and gave claire b'dae prezzie.swopped places wif pat during assembly.ran wif mel during mass run.science lesson,she was half listening.so came maths lesson.her first thought was "oh my ga!"(the zax wang way).attended maths for 3 periods.ate tie dan during recess.she thought it was ok..except for the outer layer.got whacked by yunxuan whom she kicked back with great force.chinese was equally bad for her.then during chinese,she checked her lit marks.tot the world wasn't fair becoz someone who bought frenship got away wif the marks w/o even laying a finger on the work.b4 leaving class,ah ma told her shao wei rox.pau tinks the other way.went home and called mei and started the volcano theory.had tuition and did maths.logged on msn and talked to jerilyn. realised her nc project is a goner.(yikes!).she sighs and starts to tink god isn't fair to her.
the end.
i'm gonna kill all maths freakos who invented algebra,indices,standard form and all the maths crap i gotta practice b4 next wed! i make sure u die horribly! who cares if i dunno how to do algebraic eqns?does it even apply to my job in the future? one thing's for sure:
i'm NEVER becoming an accountant or work as anything that has ANYTHING to do with maths!
btw..geog realli stinks...all the STDs are stuck in my head..not the sick way...the ''memorise for exam'' way..gotta go shower and tackle sci.peace out.
i hate everything!my horrible life and all those evil pple!argh! i tink sharon goh is in quarantine..so long nvr come liaoz...still 1 wk b4 exam...something very fishy...haiz...watched the zai sheng yuan..lijun admitted to shaohua..then tt asshole tiemuer is so dumb! hmph.felt so odd at recess...haiz...finished ''the earth,my butt and other round things''.. it's a fab story!at least gin was able to show those assholes she's not gonna crumble!she stood strong despite being chbby and ostracised.. wish i was like her... managed to slim down and found true frens and lurve..haiz..my sad sad life..
todae when pq and i walked to mrt..saw apphia..she borrowed gen's pink umbrella tt couldn't even open!gen ah...get a new umbrella k?
i'm having the monday blues..i dunno how am i gonna survive this week..everything seems to have taken a price hike.i tink at house of stars and supreme i'm gonna die.how am i suppose to survive thru tonite?art tmr and i've nvr touched it..i noe...i'm evil.. my maid got cheated by her bf..haiz..men nowadays are hopeless..make us gals cry so much yet do they noe it?NO.see the pt?they only make us suffer..nvm..i'm so deprived of sleep nowadays manz..can't seem to study..and here i am..hating life as usual..gtg..peace out
to them
What is it that you think?
You are gifted? Touched? Blessed?
That there is some reason,
A reason other than vanity,
That you like everything you do?
No sir, no, you are no artist.
You perch upon a branch,
Like you are looking down.
Down on the world,
Down on everyone lower,
Down on those you laugh at.
But I laugh at you...
You planted the tree,
You grew the branch,
No one set you there.
No, it was of your own doing.
Perhaps others helped,
Maybe your ego got a bit out of hand,
Maybe a compliment here or there,
Maybe a compliment to shut you up,
But either way you are not so grand.
You built up your own podium,
You decree yourself judge of all,
And yet still you suffer for order.
Your nifty branch may work for the while,
But it will not hold, I see it breaking even now.
I get swells of excitement, I am evil.
I am vengeful, and I enjoy it,
I will revel in the pain that you incur,
I will revel in the sorrow you endure,
I will revel in your failure... sir.
I don’t want to, but you drive me to it,
Perhaps I can plead insanity,
But you and I know that is not the truth,
For I can keep cool, and most often do,
Hell if I couldn’t, I would’ve said all this directly to you.
But you build it up, your world, your opinion of yourself,
You show off your work, your life, your sweat,
The sweat of others you call your own.
And at the first sign of honest dislike,
You sweep the comments under the table.
"No more, no more- your words mean nothing,
this is how I wanted it, and it is how I like it,
you may not like it and you are an idiot."
Well sir, that is not so polite, let us move on,
On to the work of others.
Oh here is one, let us look at this one,
I enjoy this one, "It sucks." Oh... well.
This one is nice, "no, they suck as well."
I see... I see... (Though I do not)...
This one sir, it is grand... (I lie)
"Horrible, what an amateur."
Really? I thought it looked,
well you know,
somewhat like your own.
"Lies, lies... my branch is high, can you see that not?"
ah I see, I will leave you be... goodbye, goodbye.
What? You seek me again?
Oh you wish help, that is fair... I shall give it.
I’ll lead you by your hand, and show you the way,
Until you get there and claim
"It was me all along." I sigh and shake my head,
I show you the path I took, different from the one I led you through,
There are trees, fruit, it is beautiful,
It is more grand than the simple path,
The path I led you through with haste,
And you find an apple with a worm and toss it in my face,
"pity, that" you comment... "what a disgrace."
There is no pleasing you in aesthetics,
Even if it were to come from your mind,
(Yourself unaware)
You would decry the creation,
You would call it boring and unoriginal,
Your way confuses me to no end.
Oh? You feel unchallenged?
Well by all means let me offer advice.
"No, No, No, your ideas are all wrong."
Well, I suppose I can’t answer your problem,
"I feel misunderstood? Can’t you understand!"
I scoff and you don’t know why,
It is now that my branch is high.
"Let me change my life, that will work!"
So you try, and you try, and you try.
Moving this, altering that, switching things around,
You achieve nothing, but to you, well,
To you it is change and rebirth.
"There! There now I can get back to work."
I watch as you work,
I realize it is the work that you dislike, not the environment,
So why can’t you realize it?
You stand up again,
"I need a change, let me change my life-"
That will work?
"Yes!"
So you plan, you plan your exit.
Gracefully you call me stupid,
Stupid because I do not wish to join you.
You laugh at me for not taking the opportunity,
And I hold back my anger and hostility.
For it seems your time is short,
Not because your branch is breaking as I had hoped,
But because you want another branch.
Would I like to come along? So that I can be as "good" as you?
No, no thanks, it is ok I’d much prefer not to.
"You are weak, and dumb."
Yes, I figure you’d say as much, have a nice life.
And then we are done.
Or so I would hope, but you hear from another,
One who is not me, the same words I spoke.
"You shouldn’t go" they tell you,
You tell me that perhaps you won’t go,
You tell me you got advice from a friend,
Advice that says it would not be good to leave.
I don’t mention that the same advice was given to you,
Given to you by me, ages ago.
To do so would be an exercise in futility.
So I am stuck, stuck with your ego,
Stuck with your habits that cause me distress,
Your habits that make me guilty in the eyes of others,
Guilt by association, you heartless prick.
I know you don’t care, but must you care so little
That I have no chance to succeed?
You drag me down with you, and I drag myself back up.
I don’t know why I let you drag me down,
Over and over I allow it, am I weak?
Weak like you tell me I am?
Perhaps I am, but not for the reasons you say.
To you I am weak for showing respect,
To you I am weak for showing compassion,
To you I am weak for my understanding,
To you I am weak for my morality,
To you I am weak when I disagree with you.
The stronger I feel inside-
The more I feel able and good-willed,
The weaker you take me for.
You attack relentlessly,
And say what you think of me,
You think I am weak,
Yet I am strong, strong as can be,
Yes, I am strong, strong like a Tree,
For that is my namesake,
My name is Paula.
Or at least, that is what my mom told me.
But our time is short,
You don’t know it.
Of this I am certain,
I have heard your plans of the future,
And they include me.
But you haven’t heard my plans,
And let me assure you that whatever you do,
My plans for the future... they do not include you.
Goodbye, Goodbye.
haha.yoong watched willard.i'm so thankful i was at bella's hse!tt gal cannot even tell me wat the story was abt coz she was too busy making sure nacho sauce din fall onto her skirt.haiz.typical.she said bianca & co. was freaking out.i guess i'll prob faint if i watch anything like that!tt's why i've resolved never to watch any horror/sci-fic movies ever.u guys remember A.I?the haley joel osment show?after watching tt at 10pm in the cinema,tt very day i couldn't sleep.was too scared.ok ok,very cowardly of me..but everyone has her own fears!checked to liverpool webby juz now.mikey became a daddy on 1st may,had a daughter called gemma rose owen.(urh...ok...)we played games at bella's hse,was screaming like mad..lolx..esp mellisa..
i feel dam annoyed by everything.exams stinks!life sux!sch is such a torture(not the work..but u get wat i mean..)!u guys might think i'm realli lame to like 5566 & energy.actually i'm sorta using them as a shield.to keep my mind away from things i dun wanna tink abt. i noe i may sound stupid budden,music heals my soul.oh,one last thing i wanna say b4 they disappear from the light of my blog:i dun care wat they are gonna say or said abt me.it's their business.i juz hope it's based on facts and not something untrue.
once you've said something do not try to hide it if it's untrue.u wanna say,say it using your integrity.
here's something i found on the net.peace.
Everytime we chose to stay,
The sky turned to a deep shade of death
And they once again watched our dreams fall away
There is no bottom of the wishing-well,
They just cry as they spin down,
All the way to bitter hell
Satan’s smile dried up all the oceans
Turned into a mist of despair,
Falling down from the clouds-
Like tears that stain your mind forever
We just wish for once,
That they wouldn’t lie to us anymore.
We have failed,
And we are headed towards the end.
We hated the world but we loved watching it burn
As we turn ourselves bitter cold
Open fire to the one that killed our souls
Death saw us coming from a mile away
Greeted with golden wings and pretty guns
We always saw past their smiles
That’s why they turned us against ourselves
Why stay when they all want you gone
As the sad music plays,
They just smile, a true smile
As we open fire to our own minds.
Open slash on our wrists.
Blood stains the white flowers for always
They shield their eyes,
As if they didn’t understand,
Like always.
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