Tears, it is when u felt pain and deeply hurt,
u cannot stop it from flowing,
It is like a river which has no where to go,
tears, is when u are heartbroken,
It is broken by someone u love and trust,
cry it out is better then hiding it in a corner,
At least u will feel better...
*****
why do i keep running away?
running away from the world.
i hate the restrictions set.
i want my freedom.
i want to express myself.
i want to let my feelings be known.
why do they always do this to me?
is it wrong to even say your true feelings?
my thoughts and views can only be expressed in words.
crying doesn't work for me anymore.
because i've been hurt way too many times.
*****
toro,where are you?
i noe you're in singapore now.
please dun hide anymore.
i really miss you.
fans saw u at bugis yesterday.
it's not easy to miss a 176cm person.
we need you.
energy needs u.
they cannot work w/o u.
because only the 5 of u makes things work.
it's like a pair of chopsticks.
one chopstick is no use w/o the other.
u are the other chopstick.
i dun want to go for the signing knowing you are somewhere out there watching.
i want to see 5 of u.
not 4.
i'm saying a silent prayer.
hoping you'll hear it one day.
plz come back.
*****
From the skies above
to the deepest love
I've never felt
crazy like this before
i hate my life.
stop asking me questions.
i hate the restrictions.
let me live in my own world.
so malu.
go to the wrong dentist.
aiyohx.
so embarrassing.
but anyway,got my MC.
hah.
haven finish my energy msgs.
shit.
gotta do later.
i tink i'll go walk ard orchard later.
no more tix for down to love.
sad case.
haix.
ouch.
pain.
my tooth is aching.
shit got toothache.
goin dentist tmr.
muz,no wait,die oso muz get MC.
make sure they believe me.
[edited entry]
t'cher's day.
eeucks.
wanted to watch down to love.
but xiao huang doesn't wanna.
i think her and hock's hvin' tuition now.*grinx*
niu fa pi qi again.
temperamental.
very scary.
the stupid concert drag until so long lor.
and kick boxing sucked!
went bk kellock.
reluctantly
after so long.
lucky nvr see tt iguana,or else todae sure got nightmare.
talked to mrs ong for quite awhile.
she looks older now.
so sad.
miss her.
i do remember screaming how nc rawks to the stupid npcc sec 1 gal.
idiot.(:
i tink i'm gonna ache the whole weekend after tmr.
u shld noe why!
haix.
tmr muz see black face again.
bought new shirt todae.
it's pink.
and i was forced by a certain DOG.
yucks.
i threatened her to wear pink also.
i tink i gotta go ikea tmr.
get milk bottle.
hehex.
i tink i'll psycho my mum to watch movie tmr.
i noe i'm evil.
muahaha.
todae zhao lao shi was so childish.
hug the bear like nvr seen a bear b4 like tt.
geez.
candice and my flower also got molested.
lolx.
i gotta fill up 40 blardie pages of the book lor!!
belle takes up 5.
tt leaves 35.
i'm forcing everyone who asked for the autographs to write something.
i dun care.
went orchard todae.
rubbishiated the whole time.
met ys,sh,lydia and kavina at cine.
my maid juz gave me some bowl of soupy ricey thingy for dinner.
it looks revolting but at least it's nice!
and my tooth's shaking.
so difficult to eat.
hock and xiao huang was singing jiu shi wo so many times todae.
esp the ''woo!'' part.
lame.
the stupid zhi you wo mv cannot upload.
pissed me off manx.
and i'm pissed off at pple who agreed to write in the book but din in the end.
irresponsible.
not frm sch one lah,dun worry guys.
kk,gtg,muz polish boots and at least start on 2 msgs todae.
ciao.
ps:i miss jie jie!d:
haix.
sy's fone got stolen.
feel so bad for her tho.
i noe the feeling cos i almost lost mine b4.
and noeing my mum,she'll kill me and ban me frm the fone if tt happens to me(choy!)
and i dunno wat's wif jo ee worrying if the thief is jaya or not.
c'mon lor.
she's ur bez fren gal!
so i went to orchard todae.
shopping spree sia.
borrowed books,bought materials for the messages and lord of the rings vcd.
then my mum bought this stupid lin dai vcd.
so lame lor.
then i bought my chapstick finally!!
and i also bought my yummies durian snow skin mooncake!!
and guess wat?!
i dun have to pay a single cent!
cos my mum pay.
and i went siao at popular i tink.
bought colouring books lor.
tt's so 5 yr old!!
actually got motive one.
it's to fotocopy and colour and paste in the book one.
anywayx,sam and chiang's class t'chers day item so rawks can!
i tink i screwed up majorly todae.
cannot say wat is it cos it concerns my cca.
u guys shld noe,cos i'm not allowed to blog anything abt my cca.
haix.
die die die.
todae ren fu's b'dae!
happy burfday!
oh and happy fat burfday gen!!
she found all the chocs we gave her.
lolx.
oh and i officially call goon a major bitch.
she was like so sarcastic lor.
c'mon manx!
show some sympathy!
still gif demerit tix.
go and die lahx.
i carn wait for the concert tmr.
some class dancing wu xie ke ji lor!!
yippie!~
and shinhwa's perfect man rawks!!
stupid niu dun let me psycho to go out tmr.
crap lor.
and i couldn't find niu nai's candy
shit lor.
i finally tot of their weirdo gifts liaox.
here they are:
ah di - ba kua and the test tube.maybe will add oranges to it.
niu nai - rabbit candy in bottle.i dunno if it tastes nice cos i never ate it b4.i noe abit the late lah but cos since young i tot the rice paper cannot eat mahx.so until now nvr even eaten one b4.
shu wei - i was thinking of getting him a pillow tt's hugable cos he loves to sleep.
toro - dunno if he coming or not lor.haven tot of his yet.i wanted to buy astro boy.or even weirder.get dragonballz comic and colour the whole thing.weird huh?
kunda - refuse to buy anything for him.tt's xiao huang's job.
shang nao jin.
got any ideas feel free to tell me.
i still dun believe we wanted to give shuwei tt lousy cheapo piece of crap lor.
come to tink of it.
it's so lame lor.
haix.
wanna go out tmr.
but tt niu!
hmpf.
bully her tmr manx.
i bought flower for zhao fang.
share wif candice.
i noe dam kiam.
but too bad,i'm not a teacher's day prezzie person.
*shrugs*
yu jian.
meeting that one person in our life.
the one who is waiting for you.
the one u've been looking your whole life.
na ge ren zai na li?
na ge ren zhen de na me nan zao ma?
u muz be thinking,this pau muz be hua chi already.
haha.
nah.
i'm hooked onto ''yu jian'' by sun yanzi.
then the song is so melodious that i thought abt the above sentences.
yeah.
the ''one'' defo does not appear in ur life when ur only a freaking 14 yr old teenager.
altho i'm not that sure cos my aunt met her hubby in sec sch.
wow,major hor?
yeah.
i tink alot of my frens have not met their ''one'' yet.
i haven't myself.
so it's like those who have bfs/gfs even bestest frens now,cherish them.
yin wei shang di rang ni yu jian le ta.
ok,enuf abt the whole yu jian thingy.
i think i shld juz go into writing in the future.
lolx.juz kidding!
ok.
so we got this bk from them.
i tink i'll write and write till i drop in that book.
i have to write it or my emotions will go berserk manx!
u noe when i first heard yu jian,my mind flashed ''pau,u gotta learn how to play that on the guitar or piano!"
it's juz so simple and the lyrics totally depict wat i've been wanting to say all the time.
okie dokies,gonna cram my maths.
maths remedial was disastrous.
only 5 pple turned up.
tmr is renfu's b'dae!!
wohoo!~
umm..ok.
shervon is yakking abt flash.
as usual.
yucks.
i tink i created a huge mess.
cos todae mdm yap used JJ as the ''subject'' for angle of elevation and depression.
crap.
and i said hock's name.
and she's pissed off.
sigh.
pau ah,pau.
next time,juz shut ur fat mouth up.
everything u say will hurt someone.
ugh.
is there such thing called super gule for the mouth so i can juz seal my mouth forever!?
sigh.
i'm trying the whole ''keep quiet and keep ur thoughts to urself'' thing.
i tink i'm doin' ok.
energy's on i-weekly cover.
gonna get 2 copies.
they are realli making me real broke lor.
haix.
back to the qn again.
i think i'm over reacting again.
time and time again,if someone like doesn't really talk to me(sort of lah) as in like not really talk to me,i'll be reflecting and thinking if i did something wrong to offend that person.
i can't help it.
after so many broken frenships,i'll think this way u noe.
i felt that way before CT.
i was like worrying day and night if i did something wrong.
i hate that feeling.
ouch.
my whole body's aching.
wat's the reason?
say no evil.
haix.
pau,go home and reflect properly manx.
u're doing pple alot of harm!!
i tink i shld juz dig a hole and hide there forever.
no wait,dig the hole and cry manx.
p.s:xuan,who's eu?
ok.
i promise i'll shower after i type this entry.
i haven't showered since i got home.
i noe i stink.
can u smell me from far far away?!(L.A.M.E)
ok.
i'm questioning if he's the one?
i dunno.
we were in total flirt mode for the past few days.
we call each other by chinese names.
i noe it's disgusting but it's dam nice to bully him.
but i doubt he's the one.
maybe i'm in need of being loved.
ok,tt's so not true.
it's juz peer pressure.
but i dun share my deepest secrets with him.
and i still wanna see how gel looks like.
and i tink zhiying that gal is weird.
she sees me and calls me gerard?
umm..
nada gal.
he's HIM,i'm ME.
we're totally different k.
so wat if i had a crush on him way bk ago?
we've never even met.
i carn even be bothered if i meet him on the street.
the old pau will look at guys and comment if they're cute when she walks along orchard road.
the current pau does not gives a dam if some major hottie walks past.
why?
does love and heartbreak change a person?
why is the feeling so weird?
haix.
confused.
my emotions are juz so jumbled up.
i want my priorities set.
but the more i want to pursue it,the more i want to run away.
*sigh*
showertime.(:
Umm...got activity todae.
like i said b4.
i shan't comment.
i tink our JJ craze is getting way out of hand.
sorrie lah hock,niu and gougou.
u noe.
i took a look ard the bus todae.
pple chatting away happily.
makes me feel dejected in some ways.
i want a fren whom i can count one.
who'll be there for me no matter wat happens.
after so many tries,i've not found the one.
when i tink i've found the one,we end up being on bad terms or juz casual frens.
goes to show how life is so complicated.
for a time,ur bez buds wif this person,next,it's gone.
i tink the E3 signing will be the last signing i'll go b4 the streaming.
i gotta buck up.
no use crying over split milk when i noe i tried my best yet i can't excel.
i tink i'm in need of major help.
can pple who's reading this,plz juz help me?!
i admit,i cannot manage on my own.
my will lasts only for 5 mins.
it wun work.
ugh.
dunno wat the hell am i talking abt manx.
haix.
i tink i was born a total failure.
note:listen to JJ's "Hui Du Shu" when reading.
ok.
now talking to sam & co. on MSN.
hmm..i feel after R.O.D and Camp Feast,we sorta slack.
then Part As catching up.
i tink my henna tmr i use bandage to cover.
sorrie,i din tink ahead.
regret it now.
lucky din do the whole hand one.
heng ah!!
ok.
todae got 4 new resoulutions.
1.I'll put away the grudges I have with them for the sake of our part.
2.I shall master the proper way of push ups.Cannot slack.
3.I'll do at least 10 push ups per day.except sat cos got PT and sun cos i'll prob be aching like siao all over.
4.Thou shall not slack.Show them we have discipline.
ok.
i muz build that bridge over troubled water.
go pau!
pai seh.
my dad chase me to sleep yesterday.
ok so after JJ going to leave we kept screaming "look at the album!"
aiyohx.
my bee injury is swelling again.
ouch.
i hate hate hate hate hate that stupid shortie!!
she's like dam f**king annoying and irritating.
she went to like comment so sarcasticly abt our booth to minghui lor.
wah lau!
she so good go and do it on her own lah!
then go class she muz look at our cleaniness.
yucks lor.
our class dirty oso our prob,none of her business!
then todae the gau guy offed 2g3's air con for a week.
then tt bitch was like ''u are so lucky urs din get offed''
wah kao!cursing us izzit?!
dun like than dun like lah!
nobody want u to teach us manx!
haha.
oh yah.
yest. after JJ,we go mcdonalds to drink water.
then we were thinking abt opening a ''zui xing yi zu'' FC.
but juz discuss only lahx.
we muz after streaming than can really think abt it.
bought the msg bk todae.
hahahaha.
i wanna buy ba kua for ah di cos he loves it!
i refuse to buy hainanese chicken rice for shuwei.
yucks.
if toro really coming,i'll go buy satay for him.
my mum say buy the lim chee guan one.
but i go no $ liaox!
haha.
energy go zoo wif the kids.
so cute!!
haix.
toro!wo hao xiang ni!
kuai dian hui lai!
ni hui lai de hua,wo da ying ni wo hui xi huan kunda!
wo men yong yuan zhi chi ni!
ugh.
u noe wat?
i'll juz type now and conk out in bed later.
so AAW.
sucks big time manx.
esp them.
i spent the whole time avoiding them.
no comments.
then the booth thingy so lame lor.
the VIP talk to me like so cute lor!!(:
then i noe i took alot of ZO cards.
sorrie lahx..kiasu mahx.
we bought the book for zhao lao shi.
dunno she like it or not.
mdm yap bring her son.
SO SO SO CUTE LOR!!(:
after my shift end,i tink i went havoc manx.
i did henna,chris draw for me one.
then go do tattoo.
after that go do my nails.
dam nice k!
i also did the test tube thingy!
so nice!!
made one for ah di.
xiao huang did it for kunda.
and i saw someone make for niu nai.
lolx.
shuwei dun have.
hock did one for her honey lor!
hahax.
i tink i only spent ard 10+.not tt bad cos i took cash frm my mum.
after that we go zpop.
wah kao!
rush like siao lor.
then still rain so heavily.
we were quite close lor.
but there was this extra grp in front of us.
so f**king tall lor!
then like statue stand there.
wah kao,go somewhere else manx!
i cannot see cos u block me lor!
zpop concert dam high!
we were like all drenched like siao lor.
hmm...fan fan and z chen dam nice!
so cute lor z chen!~
carn realli remember who performed.
i noe seven's 'tai tou wang' so nice k!!
then fan yi chen come.
wah kao!
when he sing bai mu da,we were all dam high!!
then he sing wif melody.
melody so boring.
yuani and i were like totally not looking at her at all.
JJ came put that time alot of pple scream lor!!
we were like jumping like siao,screaming hock's name!
hahax.
he has no aiming at all lor.
aim oso nvr aim properly.
hock almost got the poster but missed.
evonne oso very nice.
quite chio lahx.
then got tension.
wah lau!!
raymond totally dao-ing pple manx!
nvm.
the bitches beside us actually asked me and niu to send my tension pics to them lor.
no way manx!
bitches is bitches.
no way am i giving my nice nice up close pics to them!
they were like dam rude and shouting alot lor.
then park yong ha.
ew.
only janice,niu and xiao huang was like listening to him.
he where got shuai?
so ugly.
speaking of ugly,hu yan bing is REALLY ugly lor!!
yucks yucks yucks.
and daniel chan.
EW EW EW.
then after that niu and yuani go my hse stay.
we slept in the living room.
so funny.
hahax.
then next day we wake up and go do JJ posters.
so nice!yuani design the envelope of the letter we were giving JJ.
after that go J8.
park yong ha fans dam alot cans!
all those aunties and ah peks kept squeezing wif us lor.
ew.total kpo manx.
we were dam close to the barricade.
but there was like this major bitch behind niu.
dam wat lor.
disgusting!
u noe JJ's signing was like dam high as well?!
his songs so nice until even yuani bought his album.
we scream like siao.
xiao huang was the ONLY one holding poster and waving the stupid test tube.
JJ waved at her lor.
lucky doggie.
then we go queue up.
queue in this formation:hock,niu,me,yuani and xiao huang.
hock was giving JJ the album we made.
JJ look SO TOOT ok!!
yucks lor.
if he dun take a look,we'll publish in the newspapers manx!
then niu giving the test tube.
me and yuani ntg.
xiao huang giving the doggie.
then during the break,93.3 was giving away "Bu Dong" single.
cannot buy elsewhere one.
so Zhi Yong was like "who's b'dae in july?"
i juz shot my hand and scream like siao!!
i super violent lor.
juz dropped all my stuff incl. the poster on the floor and dig out my ez-link card to prove i'm born in july.
for once i'm thankful my mum gave birth to me 2 wks late cos i was late by 2 wks.
then like tt i sure born in late june one.
then he picked me.
i juz shocked lor.
i muz sing one of JJ's song to get the single.
so me and niu dunno why abit the siao chose ''jiu shi wo''.
that song i dun realli noe how to song lor!!
then niu and i were like singing.
niu sang the most cos she noes the lyrics.
i noe one then i juz sing lahx.
then i got the single!!!
JJ signed it himself lor!!
then we were like screaming like siao!!
got training mahx,crez gals leh.dun play lor.
after that we went up.
when hock give JJ the album,he pressed the cover to take a closer look.
i tink he was shocked cos he leng4 zhu4 for a moment.
then niu give the test tube.
he turned the thing to see ''wayne'' written there.
he was like gaping cos his mouth was like open.
then my turn i quickly said dam loudly ''the album cannot throw.got ni xiao shi hou de zhao pian''
i was like bi shou hua jiao to JJ.
and he juz nod nod and smile.
i shake his hand also!!
hahax.
then we super bo liao.
ask zhi yong sign the JJ poster.
he was like ''shang mian xie zhe JJ lehx"
and i was like super loud saying ''at least u hosted it right!"
so he wrote ''wo zu chi de!-zhi yong"
then on the other poster,he wrote "niao wang - zhi yong"
after that we keep screaming cos JJ sang ''hui du shu''
[to be continued]
sorrie.
juz got back from JJ's signing.
the whole entire weekend dam tired.
i wanna rest.
tmr then write wat happen at zpop and JJ signing k.
cya.*yawns*
i officially declare that i shan't say anything abt my cca on my blog EVER!
wat's the point if u carn even say ur true feelings?!
i tink i better juz erase watever i said lahx.
i dun want this to spoil my happy mood todae.
i mean like i was shown the black face by a certain someone todae.
wat i want to say is,i cannot help it if i cannot go,no need to show me such attitude!
ur attitude stinks!it sucks big time!
and they pick and pick on us ONLY!
wat's the meaning of this?!
i noe u hate us,but remember we noe the meaning of this word.
B-I-A-S-E-D-N-E-S-S.
end of subject.
to pltn mates:sorrie if pumpings happen when by chance(choy!)they read this.
umm...juz wanna say i'm a straightforward person.
i cannot keep feelings within me and i need to let it out.
hope u guys dun mind.
the more time u spend wif me,the more i hate u.
so juz leave me alone!
anywayx,went to tension's signing at junc 8.
wow,so many pple lor![sense the sarcasm?]
haha,i was abit siao lahx.
anywayx,we went up twice lor!!
heh.evil.
i can vouch that those big muscular guys got no pimples at all lor!!muhaha.
andy quite nice lahx,he smile alot.
raymond was abit dao lahx(sorrie niu!).but he looks gong oso.
jimmy so nice k!!
he said 'hi' to sinhui lor!!
john was like SO ADORABLE!!!
argh!~
brian.no comments.he's juz way too ugly.
yucks.
the tension FC so dua pai lor.
tension came quite late lor..
but no one oso.
they sang 3 songs.
gotta be your man,yi bu yi bu and tell me why.
i recorded yi bu yi bu in my voicemail.
so nice!~
then we went up the 1st time,the stupid guard dun let me sign 2 copies cos i had candice's one wif me.
idiot.
so i juz sign mine first.
actually we were thinking like asking them to write our names..like ''To:XXX".
then i also quite lazy queue another time to sign lingyu's copy so when i got to john i oso dunno why i was like lying thru my teeth lor.
"umm..john,my fren is sick todae,she cannot come.can u like write her name or something?"
he ask wat name and i was like ''candice!!"
he wrote ''candi''.
better than ntg lahx.
then tt brian abit stupid oso.
cos he next to john,then after john write lingyu's name i juz take the album away.
he was like 'hey!i haven't signed tt yet!'
then i show him this 'gong' look.
then dun care juz walk away.
after that i decided to queue for lingyu.
and niu and sh wanted to ask them write their name.
i noe abit the thick-skinned lahx.
but who cares lor!
no one mahx...got alot time to sign. (:
so we queue and i went to jimmy and ask him to write my name while they signed lingyu's album.
he so nice k!!so i decided he wun reject me so i went to him instead of john cos i scared he say no.
the person in charge was like diao-ing me but he juz wrote and i juz blurted out my name.
"umm...paula.p-a-u-l-a!"
hehx.
he almost wrote wrongly but in the end correct lahx.
sh's name andy wrote it for her.
abit the illegible but can lahx.
niu so poor thing!!
she wanted raymond to write her name.
than raymond say cannot.
raymond is a bad mi mi yan!
lolx.
she so sad lor.
but she shake his hand twice lor!
umm...in record:i shook all of their hands twice and john's once only cos the first time he din look up and i juz walk away.
i'm nvr washing my 2 hands manx!jK!
then so nice lor they all.
jimmy rawks!
i love jimmy!wohoo!~
i so happy wif my pics,thnx to miss lim our photographer.
professional manx!~
i noe i crapped alot in front of tension lor.
i tink they remember us as the ''3 gals in yellow'' cos we all wore yellow coincidently!
hmm...i tink i'll go set up pic webbie and put the pics up ok?
wanna sleep.tmr go AAW.
do not even remind me abt tt.
oh.
read toilet bird's EJ.
juz remember she dam bo liao lor.
todae is ah di is 21 yrs and 1 mth old.
LAME.
ugh.
yucks!
zhu xiao tian and zai zai's on tao zi's show now.
ew.
vivian's there also.
haix.
tmr goin orchard wif jas.
so happy!
tension tension tension!
niu says john is a ''si mi de''.
dun forget raymond is also another ''si mi de''!
lolx.
we suppose to do G.O.H on AAW.
shit lorhx.
i only knew juz 10 mins ago.
which is 10.15
and tmr we not having CS to do finish all our things.
shit lorhx.
i miss my jiejie.
no one to bully now.*pouts*
hahaha!~
Jk manx!
shanwe's imitating a cow moo-ing.
wah lau!
like the cow goin to be slaughtered like that.
lolx.
hock says she told her mum she going for b'dae party and counting down tt's why so late come bk.
muahahahha!~
bad bad birdie!
i wanna buy xiezhi's <
but no $~
haix.
dunno wat to blog.
update on tension tmr ok?
hmm..eating my dinner now.
i noe i blog juz now liaox.
but who cares lah?
i haven type my notes yet.
i haven do my maths.
fantastic rite?
hmm..beejuan and i were discussing how to deal this afternoon.
so,i tink we watching it next wk.
yupx,me,her,bella and gen.
not sure abt bianca or apphia tho..
after how to deal ntg to watch liaox...
i was thinking maybe go watch with janice gui mei.
but scare urself and u still gotta pay abit stupid rite?
oh,did i mention we totally pon-ned hist again?
yah,super manx!
oh yah!suddenly tot that i can watch down with love.
hmm...xiao huang they all told me to wear more mature on sat for zpop.
wah lau,total insult sia!
fine.i shall wear as mature as possible.
i shall tell u guys wat i wear then.
maybe i'll post it on the net.
haha,using my new digi cam!
happy manx!
but i tink my mum will kill me if it drops!
i was thinking if i shld do a webby like wat sgt did.
so cool lor!
but then,i read in the papers once got some perverts went to take other pple's pic and spread rumours abt them lehx!
haix.
think abt it first.
but i tink i shld be able to post them up.
fri,sat and sun got alot of piccies k!
so malu k.
i almost(read again,almost) fell asleep in class durin science.
yupx.
and neo called me.
shucks.
i mean like i slept for barely 6 hrs last nite lor!
blardie hell!
anywayx,juz came bk frm bridge.
or rather,kite.
seems like she put me and en li to do kites.
i have ALOT of notes to type out k.
now listening to tension's 'yi bu yi bu'.
so nice..wo yao yi bu yi bu yi bu zou dao ni shen bian!~
i tink i carn make it for the book thingy on fri.
goin wif jas to orchard to get our xiao bai mao.
hehex,ren fu's hat look-a-like!
u noe wat neo said abt the toro kite?
she said he's handsome!
oh manx.
and she said quote:"we have good taste(laughs)!"
choy!who got same taste as u manx!
speaking of toro,haix.
stupid jason said di yi dai energy is dead.
can create another de er dai energy.
ENERGY will be ENERGY FOREVER!
he go and die lah!
want to die oso he die first.
hope you fall down the stairs and zou lu shi diao jing long kang!*pfft*
oh yah.
ah zhu sao so cute k!
everytime see her in sch always make fun of her and call her ''ah zhu sao!''
then she eveytime will turn bk one.
hahaha~
ouch,having rashes now.
must be the paint juz now.
found out hock's hubby from Nan Hua Pri & ACS(I) & SAJC.
Which means he's janice's senior.
Which also means he's from the sch xiao huang hates.
lolx.
u noe we were talking abt zpop during recess in class todae.
then we were like "hock!we go ur hse after tt and stay lah!"
(cos janice dad send her home,might as well we all go her hse stay cos so late then end)
then she was like "NO!"
xiao huang than said "nvm lahx,nobody send her home,JJ sure send her home one!"
then i was like "yah,send until her bedroom.anywayx,they sleep in the same rm mah!"
she was like "where got?!(blush)"
i then teased her and said "ehx,inside got 2 single bed lahx.wah lau wat u tink until!?"
wah lau!!after that niu and xiao huang was like "wah lau!wat u think abt manx?!"
she was blushing like mad lor!
and we are so bad!
kept teasing her manx!
hahaha!
we are so evil.
yay!
i am f.r.e.e FREE!!
ok this week is gonna be dam busy..
hmm...arts awareness wk...
i'm stuck doin kites..yucks.
then fri is TENSION.
sat art awareness and z-pop!
wohoo!~
the age limit is now 15.
dun care.
i shall go there and say i forget to bring IC.
if not say u state 15 yrs oso nvr state wat kind of year,the english yr or chinese one.
according to chinese calendar i shld be 15 liaox,going on 16.
hee.
then according to english calendar i'm 14 going on 15.
nvm,round up 15 can liaox.
(:
sun is lin sao's hubby,JJ!
was chatting wif rayson juz now.
this guy very umm...interesting.
his chinese name is jun jie oso.
so cute.
lolx.
he's now sotong piggy tortoise rayson.
lolx.
now i noe his full name can scream at him liaox.
muahaha!~
todae go orchard wif belle.
took da tou tie(neoprints lahx)
so funny lor.
she nan de come out wif me.
okie dokey,i wanna listen to tension's album and JJ's album oso.
881.
i'm freakishly screwed for lit and maths ok!!
argh.
NEVER,EVER(and i mean it)mention M-A-T-H-S in front of me ok!
yucks.
my life is juz so..horrible.
i feel like a failure u noe.
the thought of the fact that i carn even pass maths at all.
ugh.
reality bites.
pau,face it manx.
u suck at maths!
this week is horrendous!
i meant my schedule.
firstly,arts awareness week.
a.k.a history(singing song.yucks) and bridge.
DO NOT MENTION BRIDGE AS WELL!
i tink i can go nuts manx.
LFC lost to CFC.
stupid owen.
dun like u.
wo de xin xin zai na?!
ok,i'm turning in early tonite manx.
it's 9.50 now and i'm gonna sleep soon.
i might be waking up early to watch madrid.
haha,becks.
zhiying's fault.
lolx.sorrie gal.
i wanna watch LFC vs CFC.
and i carn!
that sucks manx!
the biggest match so far and i cannot watch it!
i wanna see wat that stupid roman can do to my darlings!
hmpf.
stevie is suspended.
that SUCKS!
at least mikey's gonna be there.
so lads,for god's sake,do not make it a repeat of last season ok?
plz?
my leg is swollen again.
and i'm gonna kill rayson wu the next time i see him.
i totally and officially call myself accident prone manx!
i hurt my left leg AGAIN.yes.
how?
i got stung(sort of.)by a bee.
yupx.
on the underneath side of my left foot.
so,there u have it,i'm limping again.
i noe it sounds lame,but it's true.
my whole feet was swollen like elephant's leg like tt the nite b4.
how u muz be thinking?
hmm,i was clearing my room and dunno why i juz stepped on a bee that was half-alive.
i din see it on the floor manx,i swear!
it hurts like crap ok?!
oh,and i met my 8th floor neighbours again todae.
i met them like on friday at my grandma's hse.(turns out their mum works nearby)
and todae?
it's like i was so shocked to see them on fri lor.
so were they cos we kept looking bk at each other.(no no no!not LOOK as in LOOK!geddit?!juz like to check if that was them/me that kind.none of those pervert thoughts ok!)
and todae,they waved and smiled at me(according to my mum) but i totally gave them a black face.
c'mon man!wat u want me to do?
i was limping ok!am i suppose to smile and flirt with them?!
tt's like yucks lor!
my mum totally insist they were waving & smiling at me,not her.
i so dun believe lor.
she thinks i like them.
yucks,if i did,i would have confessed 8 yrs ago!
why wait till now?
anyway,i so do not want a bf now.
nah,who cares anyway.
i swear i'm gonna mug after this k!
juz read this clarification from somewhere.
it's juz plain sad.
cos toro may be leaving energy,or even worse,they disband.
u noe,i bought play todae.
seeing all five of them on the cover,smiling so happily and after reading wat jason might do to them,goes to show how cruel and harsh the society is.
why shatter a simple pure dream of being a performer?
why do this to five simple minded boys?
i mean,yes,they did do everything any artiste in that industry will do.
but juz to give up and see all their hard work go down the drain juz like that?
it's not fair!
why?why must it always end this way?
ds went and go juz like that.now eg?
it's juz not fair..
since when was anything fair?
sob sob sob!
toro appeared so little in shen me tai du MV.
i hate u!
why carn u juz go with the other 4 toro!?
u make fans like us REALLY sad do u noe!?
why carn u like spare a tot for us?!
haix.
no use screaming here.
i noe he cares abt the fans.
it's all jason's fault!
hope u fall down 4 stories and face disfigured manx!
idiot.
angry.
mugging again.
ciao.
pai seh.
sotong liaox.
zpop next sat!
yay!
can go!
wohoo!~
ok.
no to zpop.
yes to freaky friday.
xuan says mug tonite.
watch movie tmr.
lolx.
ok,i'm gonna mug.
dun even bother disturbing me until afternoon tmr ok?
sign off:12.02AM
ok,10 mins later,here i am again!
for the record,i din watch finish wan quan yu le.
like jason is so nice to watch?!
my quote book is lying here half done.
i wanna mug but no mood.
i'm debating with my mind now.
zpop or freaky friday?
nvm,ask xuan help.
be back in 5.
xuan's blogging now.
later than go read.hehx.
so...to go or not to go?
i wanna go watch freaky friday tmr but niu's asking me to go watch zpop wif hock,her and xh.
how?!
i carn watch on sun cos that's like...realli bad?
besides,my fate rests on my results ok?!
i'm suppose to produce at least a B4 for EVERY subject which is impossible considering that my parents gave all their mathematical genes to my bro instead of me!
hist is a goner.
so is english.
i din understand a single crap abt the dog fight!
anyway,who does?!
so got so depressed i went out wif my mum to raffles place and sat there for 1 hr reading charmed.
lame,i noe.
then go bras basah popular and bought ALOT of rubbish.
arghx!
my dad's coming bk tmr.
my discman is screwed.
my bro is irritating.
i need TIME but who can give me that?!
din go sch todae.
met up wif gou,niu and hock at jp juz now to study hist.
my whole body is aching and i'm coughing badly again!
todae muz be some unlucky day for us manx!
go kfc kena chase away by the stupid cleaner.
wah lau the sign is so small how to see?!
then other pple oso studying mahx!
why chase us only?
i already give u chance
chey!chance ur head lah!
then go library kena scolded cos use hp?
SO MANY pple were using lor,why me only?!
suay suay suay!!
todae cannot buy 4D..tsk tsk
back pain.
oww...
big/small balloon sucks.
abuse authority.
high rank big deal ahx?
head swellers..*pfft*
imt was yucks.
but i muz saya lot of us improve tho i'm not sure if i passed or not.
go there then we noe got snap shot and deliberate shot oso.
so happy!!saw shiling!!=P
wah lau,scare us like shit lor.
snap shot was O-K only.
i passed my canadian bull(yes!!) and deliberate shot!
wohoo!~
i'm still pissed off lor.
1 pm leave,5.30 then reach lehx!
wtf lor..
i wanted to K for hist. lehx...
they no exam not our business but this CT means alot to me..
haix.i go shower then K lor.
cya
oh shit.
forgot something.
suddenly remember only after i saw niu's blog.
ZAI ZAI SUCKS!!
STUPID F4 IS ON THE COVER OF U-WEEKLY!!
wah lau!hope that issue never even sell one copy.
zaizai's pic was like SOOOOO much bigger than the other 3 lor...
i rather vanness...=)
argh!
i officially declare that chan weimeng has major PMS problems.
i think she's going thru menopause rite now.
either that or she is trying to succeed goon.
wah lau,we got off air con ur prob ahx?
crap her lor.
carn stand her.
hmpf!
todae was o-k.only.
u noe why?
cos once i get home,annalise keeps annoying me.
MAJORLY.
ugh.
no offense but she keeps telling me dumb stuff like why she carn sleep?
oh!i talked to gerard and rayner yest.
they remembered me lorh!
thnx zhiying~
i saw the zoo pic todae.
SO KAWAII!!~
i'm still dreading imt tmr.
i dun wanna go!
marshmallow sure nag again todae.
anywayx,i din go oso.
din noe have..
i dun wanna wear no.4 tmr.
so hot.
anywayx,stupid samat pinch me todae.
pain lor...*grumbles*
i'm eating my cocoa cookies now...
yum!after CT muz go bake my sponge cake..
so long nvr bake liaox..
todae was total awkward.
and guess wat?
i only dunno 2 words for ting xie lor!
miracle manx!
those 2 words eunice oso dunno.
so die lor.
ok i wanna go read fanfic and go kill that stupid niu.
nvr come sch oso nvr tell us...
haha.i dun believe it manx.
xiao huang has a bloggie?!
wah lau,i went to read it and..
she write until so chim stuff.
*claps*u good!
annalise and i have been emailing each other daily.
she very cute lehx..frm aus.
the stupid doctor give me so many capsules to eat juz cos my throat was inflammed?
rubbish lah!
my real doctor on leave then tt sub dunno real or fake one.
go in 5 mins only den say can go liaox.
must be some fako.
give MC oso nvr excuse frm PE.
shit,i tink i ask my mum write letter tmr.
i think this week wun blog much..got CT.
i dread IMT.
that rayson keeps saying i sure get marksmen one.
idiot,he marksmen sure say i can get one mahx.
bleh,dun like him.
i can pass can liaox.
sigh.
was talking to xuan yesterday abt him.
idiot.bastard.jerk.
haix,they told me she asked.
scared i confront her.
do i look like such a person?
want to confront that day confront liaox.
cos give her face,then i close one eye.
that stupid bella not home yet!!
argH!how to learn ting xie like that?
she holding my ci yu biao lor!
sickening.
i tink i go burn finish my discs and do my quote book first.
i saw these bee-u-ti-ful flowers at liang court todae.
so nice.
but it's handmade.
which means i gotta learn how to make them.
i was thinking of making it for EG but my handcraft is like yucks lor.
hey,it's true.i almost failed art ok!
Hey now hey now
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright when I see you smilin' I go oh oh oh I would never want to miss this cause in my heart I know what this is
Hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of I've got somewhere I belong I've got somebody to love this is what dreams are made of (this is what dreams are made of)
Have you ever wondered what life is about you could search the world and never figure it out you don't have to sail the oceans no no no happiness is no mystery its here and now its you and me yeah
hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of I've got somewhere I belong I've got somebody to love this is what dreams are made of
Open your eyes(this is what dreams are made of)
Shout to the sky(this is what dreams are made of)
When I see you smilin' I go oh oh oh yesterday my life was duller now everythings technicolor
Hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere I belong I've got somebody to love this is what dreams, dreams, this is what dreams are made of (Hey now hey now hey hey hey hey now hey hey hey this is what dreams hey now
hey now hey hey hey this is what dreams what dreams are made of)
shucks!!
zhiying said gerard was online.
and guess where was i?
waching luo bi kang in my dad's room and she's offline now!
argh!!
gal,come bk!~
anywayx,gerard is so p5?
i mean,i did have crush on him in p5.
now he's like a very malu-ating thing to me?
i din mean i'm embarrassed of him.
i'm saying that talking abt him brings bk all the malu-ating things i did then.
yikes.
dun ask me k.
it's so embarrassing!
=X
aww.
my head hurts.
my throat hurts.
nose stuck.
no ventilation.
whole body numb.
feverish.
shit.
sick liaox.
aiyohx,die.
my mum say tmr can dun go sch.
i watched homerun juz now.
so nice lor.
joshua ang is so shuai.
lolx.
but he's super chao ah beng.
and he likes cheryl chan.
yucks.no taste.
homerun is so touching but i nvr cry.
my mum nagged all the way home cos she say the homerun plot depicts life then want me to save money and be thrifty.
that will be the day manx.
talked to rayson the whole entire nite yest.
that idiot called me a piggy polar bear.
so i called him piggy back.
lolx.
he was SO pissed k!
anywayx,no mood to blog.
i wanna rest.
tmr muz learn ting xie.
groans
If truth hurts,
I won't face reality.
You made me lost faith in you over and over again.
Why?
Is that really your conscience?
I give you reassurance,
Yet you return it with agony.
All that's left of your careless mess,
Is hardly a noticeable smudge.
Your words shattered my soul.
And it's hard to piece them up again.
Because it's the truth.
i hate him.
he lied.
again.
Love in whose giver's light
Is always greater than the world's shadows...
why do u always do this to me?
hmm...spent one hr crying to ming hui.
thanks minghui,u rawk!
i talked to like SO many pple at one time juz now.
whew manx.
din eat dinner at all.
no appetite and no mood.
my dad's still bugging me to burn his disk.
i'm guiltily guilty of not doing that.
talked to mao for so long.
haix.
made me realise they thought i was wrong.
so wrongly accused.
sigh.
hmm...asked zhi ying abt gerard.
oh manx.he that pop ahx?
to tink i used to ''like'' him..
so malu lorhx!!
so we set date for bk liaox...
yupx,yvonne and i meeting..=)
meeting leah tmr.
hopefully can get a good chat wif her cos i realli need a listening ear rite now b4 i go mad!
i'm not sure if enli will read this but,
enli,if u realli feel stressed out or something,it's best to let it out and not keep it within u.
u'll end up like me,sick and fallen.
it's not worth it with the exams so near.
yahx,all the best!
sincerity
n 1: an earnest and sincere feeling [syn: earnestness, seriousness] 2: the quality of being open and truthful; not deceitful or hypocritical; "his sincerity inspired belief"; "they demanded some proof of my sincerity" [ant: insincerity] 3: a quality of naturalness and simplicity; "the simple sincerity of folk songs" [syn: unassumingness] 4: the trait of being serious; "a lack of solemnity is not necessarily a lack of seriousness"- Robert Rice [syn: seriousness, earnestness, serious-mindedness] [ant: frivolity]
i guess the above word hightlights in all.
today is a disaster.
first,chan weimeng,being the usual bitch she is,scolded me today.
like i care
then we went orchard.
hopeless.
i tink some things shld be kept unsaid.
only knew that it was horrible.
thanks to them.
anywayx,in no mood to blog.
was crying juz now anywayx.
like they care.
all they care is them.
they're being self centered and egocentric.
everything revolves only ard THEM!
since when did they give fuck abt other pple's feelings?!
by all means go and stay in ur own fucking world.
u stay in urs,i stay in my life,my world!
and u stay out of it.
craps.craps.craps.
i almost failed maths.
whew,passed by 2 marks.=)
my dad is nagging daily for me to sleep at 10.30 whereas i'll pretend to mope ard until 10.40.
then i'll go grumbling into my rm and complain to my mum.
not that she can do anything oso lahx.
CT is coming.
as usual,we have the ''fantastic'' IMT!
ooh,how exciting!(sense the sarcasm?)
then dis afternoon got briefing.
like we've nvr heard of such crap b4?
oh,btw,marshmallow was like so naggy?
she kept repeating watevr she said like 3 times?
but nvm,she's still very cute to me!=)
they ask alot of rubbish todae.
wat u feel abt ur new ncos, do u miss ur old ncos?
it's like duh lorh!
i couldn't care much anyway.
then intro like 3 times?!
yucks.
i was like "my name is paula,sgt.i always get injured during ncc(flashback:sentosa and camp feast?i like injured in at least 3 places all the time?)"
lame.
aiyahx.dun wanna blog.
chan weimeng is like so boring.
like that's anything surprising?
she took 25 mins to go thru 4 qns!!!
wah kao.
bianca,belle and i were like sleeping!!
haix.i dunno wat's wrong wif enli these days.
enli,u ok or not?
got anything dun keep inside u,tell us k?
she's like so dai dai these days.
speaking of ''dai dai'',reminds me of niu.
that stupid niu and her zaizai.
for the record,I HATE ZAIZAI!!!!
i honestly think i shld go for counselling.
at least i wun go nuts trying to figure out things!
uh.i told my mum i wanted to study psychology cos it's dam unique.
she was like "u shld be a lawyer!"
i was like "har?why?"
she said "cos u can talk back at pple like so good!"
then samat was telling me i shld join ELDDS.
i was like "har?!i'm like yucks at acting?!"
he was like "no!u shld join debate team!cos no one can outtalk u!"
argh!~
guess wat my answer was?
with this extremely weird look on my face i said "no thankx(cos he offered to talk to mr m.)!i'm very loyal and i enjoy serving my country!"
muahahaha.
anywayx,having tuition later.
major depression
i'm like so depressed everyday.
maybe i'll mention something to my mum
or even better still.
vent my anger on blogging so u guys noe how i feel.
and best,leave me alone!
p.s:the previous entry was out of anger.do not take to heart.juz wanted to let u guys noe!
i feel so lost,troubled,alone.
deserted
haix.
if u dun wanna go,dun!stop saying things that u dun mean!u look so fake at times u noe!
i dun want someone who doesn't want to give me the thing such rubbish.
i'm like 'hello?!''
i'm juz next u guys!i can hear it all!
u dun want to give,dun!i'm serious!
it's bad enuf u act stupid abt it!
i mean i dun wanna get it out of pity or something!
ugh.
u muz be tinking wat the hell am i talking abt?
i'm talking abt the dolphin.
it's bad enuf u guys dun remember,now ur like dividng the amt in like dunno how many shares?!
how the hell would i feel?
have u guys ever thought of that?!
[check friday's 2nd entry,u'll noe wat i mean]
geez.it's no use crying over split milk anyway.
i soo love my chopsticks theory!!
remember,it applies also to work u noe!=)
i'm so pissed off by that rayson wu.
idiot.
pbl todae was a total disaster.
i got my feeling again.
ew.
i tink old bird is biased!
not to me,not to enli but MS!!!
i dun wanna blog.
sick of it.
gerrard got sent off.
screw that referee
ok,i dunno why the heck am i sobbing here in front of my com.
why the tears are running down.
i read finish a fanfic.
even tho it's a fanfic,it touched me.
i realise something.
i miss him.
i miss him more than anything.
and stop guessing which him it is,it's not mitch.
I finally understand the story behind the chopsticks. It's only useful when two sticks come together. You don't say 'a chopstick', it's 'a pair of chopsticks'. We're a pair, without you, I have no use. Even if there's any mistake or something you can't get over with, I'll be the one who's filling in all the holes, we'll work together, to work things out. Will you be my other half?
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/energy_1/
check it out,u'll noe wat i mean.
u'll only noe true love only when u experiece it,even if the other person does not noe u love them...
love you love you may i love you?
this song is like so stuck in my head.
i read finish nights in rodanthe.
so sad..wanted to cry but held myself back.
then i was like reading this super nice fanfic this afternoon.
sob sob!
so touching!
zhi you wo's meaning is so shen lor!
haha!guess wat,the passes for autograph signing finish liaox!
rayson and weiming so poor thing
their sadistic ncos pumped them 50 on hot ground at 2pm yesterday.
so ke lian..maybe most ncos are sadists.
weiming's arm swollen.
rayson's having leg cramp.
i tink snr's gonna kill lingkang lehx.
lingkang asked zel to walk with him during the nite.
oh manx!
men are realli perverts!
poor xuan.
i juz wanna say something:relax woman!
we so totally flunked the bridge thingy!
the judges was like asking
''how did u all come up with this name?"
i said the wrong thing and the judges were laughing away!
"why did u use a circular rod?is there a difference?"
bella was like wat circular rod more solid,can hold more weight.
crap lorhx!then our bridge was like holding only 20.84kg.
the bridge actually can hold more than 20kg but tt asshole who moved the weights caused the bridge to sway and crash!
hate him manx.
after that go for r.o.d.
we were like playing at the park for so long!it was so bor-ing!
me and sh even missed our jin qu jiang!
aiyohx,bbq was ok lahx,passable.
the food like not filling.i can still hear my stomach rumbling.
next yr,we are planning to go some u-lu area!
muahaha!
i tink our performance was gd manx.
tho i forgot my steps halfway.
part As ''one love'' was monotonous.
they dam horrible one lorhx.
they called amy ''ey!'' yesterday lor!
wah kao!we after all oso got rank lehx!
call lcps lahx!
hmm...gonna miss them alot!
i find that we always start to cherish our ncos only after they rod.
oh yah!
speaking of tt,we told senior lanxi abt lingkang!
so funny k!btw,if u dunno,lingkang is snr's bro from CTSS.
tt stupid rayson kept asking why i not in national day parade.
i was like..u stupid lahx!our sch ndp only got the high rank one.
lun ye mei you lun dao wo men!
i forgot to add something.
todae is xiao jie's bdae!
Happy Birthday 3 yr old!
i feel so sad.
she got so much prezzie.
goes to show pple remembers her bdae.
i feel so failure manx.
no one besides my family remembered my bdae.
even had to ask for my hai tun.
then tt janice got 15 pple to buy it.
honestly,i feel dam sad lorhx.
sigh.
i'm fated to remember other pple's bdae,while others dun remember mine.
*sobx*
na me si xin ye mei you yong...
finally,one more day b4 this horrible week is over!
wohoo!~
u noe the msg bk?
aiyohx...failure lahx...
only 2 msgs todae!
wah lau..
tt's like..*count fingers*less than 20!
even if we write till we die oso carn write finish the whole bk!
(note to enli & co.:howww!?)
todae CS so funny!
we started doing this fortune telling thingy...
oh manx!!we like some psycho lorhx!
laugh and laugh like crap...
i tink the most accurate was mine and mei sum's frenship compatibility.
So 100% accurate lorhx!!
hmm..i'm suppose to wear silver tmr cos it's my lucky color this wk.
mei's is red.lala's pink.jing's yellow.mine is silver.
if we gonna win,we muz wear these colors.
i tink i'm gonna wear my chain tmr...=)
juz now went to hse of starx.
spent my entire wk's allowance on pics and this chao shuai poster of EG.
as usual lahx
so happy!=P
gonna get my hai tuan next wk.wait so long liaox.
spent the afternoon writing the msgs.
aiyohx.
so bor-ing!i tink they gonna cry tmr.
but tmr i carn go for parade.
as usual.not suprising!
haix.better resume my photographer post again.
maths test was like..crap lorhx...
i tink i'm gonna fail history.
i see pple write until 2 pages,i only write one half page lor!shit.
u noe i'm watching mou nian mv now.
the first thing tt comes into mind was enli's voice
quote:da jia hao,wo shi niu nai.wo shi shuwei,wo shi ahdi,wo shi toro,wo shi DA!
sorrie lorhx enx!cos the way u say dam funny lorhx!
haix.juz now pft i was like crying!
cos my sit & reach was like left 1cm grade C liaox.
then i wanted my red badge.so i was like so call crying.
lucky got xuan and mao comfort me with mel.thnx guys!
lucky can re-take!whew whew whew.
this stupid xiao huang says s'pore got no shuai ge.qi si wo le!!
i tink i'm gonna make a fool of myself at the bbq tmr.
die
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