toro's new message.
totally dumb.
tell us such rubbish also no use.
like i care!
just read belle's EJ.
then i remembered that horrible letter i wrote to di.
dunno if he got read.
cos either he's gonna hate me or laugh and tink i'm an idiot.
cos i wrote that i hate sun de rong and it's an insult to my whole entire family and all those wif "sun" as their chinese surname.
hmpf.so angry can.
we were discussing donating blood on 111 todae.
wahah~
so funny..
started comparing who's blood is rarest among the whole lot of us there...
pei qi and sharon's the most rae..AB type..
i used to tink AB blood pple have blue blood...
but then again,i was only 8 yrs old.
anywayx,back to sun de rong.
i hate 5566 like siao now.
serious..
and pple's trying to form an official toro fanclub...
nuts man...
i dunno if i'd support toro the way i used to.
i will feel real bad for the other 4...
then in lime da mentioned those toro fans who went for their signings had black faces..
then i noe liaox..
i go see toro that time i oso want to black face..
they black face to my 3 lovers and niu nai leh,so i must also black face to their "beloved" toro!
then every single magazine is claiming toro is the cutest out of them 5!
ermz..hello?!toro is cute..but only he cute meh?
niu nai also very cute wat..wait..i take back my words..niu nai's adorable...
cos cute means ugly but adorable..
*smirks*
well,to me,toro's as good as dead.
and jason huang that sadistic bastard is gonna get it from me manx...
so will that sadistic fren of his..mr sun de rong.
oh,and xuan...u biased pig!!
how can you ask for more wei qi and toro?!
haha...k lahx...
i shall write after exams...this i promise kays..
anyway...i love my missing doggie chappie...
=)
my eyes are watering...
i juz saw the video for wan quan happy and the most sickening part was they cut out the video got da and toro smiling together....
wo bu yao~
i dun want toro ONLY..
i want di,shuwei,niu nai and da with him....
haix...
u guys might be thinking i over-reacting rite?
u wun understand unless u're an energy fan...
i hate jason huang that fucking bastard!
i hate you to the core!
i hate you for breaking energy up.
i hate you for taking toro away!
i hate you for causing us such pain and anguish u sadistic bastard!!
forget it,i wanna go on hiatus for awhile...
ciao.
i cannot break my promise to di..
i'm...controlling my tears all over again!!
i dun't want to do this anymore!!
toro's wan quan happy is this sat...
and he's gonna talk abt some "things".
i hate him.
i hate him for making me cry so often.
but dun worry,i promised di i wun cry again.
so umms...yah~
anywayx,called gou juz now to tell her...
her bro was totally rude to me lor...
i feel like slapping that bastard manx...
and her mum was total sarcastic...
u want to see if i can be more sarcastic than u or wat?!
(sorrie,i abit the bad mood now)
totally no mood to study now...
i want to here his explanation...
nvm...
i shall go check the taiwan grps...
i think they can view it there...
sad sad sad!
*control tears,pau!!*
zhao lao shi went siao todae cans.
8 pple absent.
8 LEHX!
aiyoh,enx & co. *shakes head*
i noe u guys went to study...
but zhao lao shi was quite pissed cans...
total PMS mode.
next time dun all pon at the same time.
make shifts lah!
liddat she wun be so angry.
ok..totally gonna refrain myself from updating.
my bro is blasting wu yue tian's "ren sheng hai hai"
love that song like siao and my bro wants to get the cd tmr.
he even offered to sponser me to accompany him to any mayday's signing.
first time manx.
ok,gotta hit the books...
got like 19 chaps to study.
and better do my chang wen suo duan or zhao lao shi will go mad again.
ciao.
it is officially 4.48 am in the morning and me,the crazy pau is typing an entry now.
siao rite?
haha~
woke up to learn ting xie half and hour ago and found my dad came home last night.
as in from japan lah...
so envious...
japan my dream place leh...
yest. nvr dream anything...
i was too busy trying to fall asleep...
must be cos sunday i 1pm then wake up...
*yawns*
checked my email and realise pple are going for shin's concert only to see toro.
that's like a total waste of $!
want to go,be a shin fan.
not a TORO fan!
the stupid concert does not read 'toro's concert' can!
and everyone is sorta dissing tony and cyndi.
not tt i mind they diss cyndi lah..
*bLeHx*
i also want to go..
i wanna see chris again!
=)
niu ah..u better not make up some rubbish abt me and chris ok!
i kill u!
ur stupid shuwei pics still give me nightmares..*goosebumps*
wahaha~
anyway,while trying to fall asleep yest. , i was thinking of my story plot and ending.
then i realise it's very messy.
so i have to ask my consultant sinhui..lolx..
nvm,b4 guitar i go ask her..
she asked me to tell her abt shuwei's party yest.
and that crazy woman set date wif gou,another crazy woman,dog in this case to draw the wall.
some siao kia destroyed toro's and weiqi's name!
^$#@&*^$)^%(#@&^$
tt person even wrote cai kuai there.
go and die lah!
pple want toro to love her ur business izzit?u not happy ah?
siao cans...
ok..gotta hit the books again..
belle ah,re-posting means delete your current acc. and sign up for new one.
cos that stupid website keeps showing chap. 10 only.
according to niu and enli mentioned it b4.
so i delete the old one.
sign up as /paula still and change everything lor!
and i understand how you feel when pple dun give comments...
i wrote like 7 chapters yesterday and only 3 came.
enx,niu and chingz only can.
so sad lor.
i was at the com since 7.30,sit until 1am.
not a SINGLE one can!
pissed off like hell!
and i must go look for new layout.
someone say quite difficult to read.
writing stories are hard!
so pple reading,give us writers support ok!
belle's: www.winglin.net/fanfic/belletan3
mine: www.winglin.net/fanfic/paula
weird weird weird!!
i had the most i dunno if it's lame or dumb dream can...
i dreamt that i was at this signing with LOTS of pple around.
then the guard bring niu nai and shuwei down together..
after that i dunno why hold out my hand to shake niu nai's..
after that niu nai shaking my hand that time maybe cos i'm quite small lah...
the stupid guard drag me along with them..
niu nai din even have space to let go of my hand can..
then i started asking shuwei abt gou's letter...
i said something like ''you remember the letter your mum gave u after the s'pore concert?"(in chinese lah)
then after that he said yes can!
so freaky!
then dunno why the stupid guard push me up the bus along with them also..
all i noe was i fell and niu nai hold onto me..
then i woke up...
darn it!!
kunda was asking me something and walking over can!
tell me honestly...
stupid rite?
i dunno why i dream of shuwei lor...
must be niu's fault!!
who ask her send me so many shuwei's pics!!
argh!~
oh,and niu ah,F4 sucks!!
*bLeHx*
quite sad now...
write so many chapters todae..
7 leh..
then no comments one...
aiyah...
forget it manx...
i shall concentrate on the pics niu is sending me now.
whahaha~
i got new idea liaox...
shan't tell you what it is..
*blehx*
you'll know after the exams...
i tink i went siao writing the qn 2 of paper 1.
i filled 3 whole ENTIRE pages k...
freaky sia...
dunno what came over me...
enx..i tink my writing came from all that novels u guys see me read all the time...
yah lah...
i abit the bookworm..
but books are really amazing..
all my quotes and plots are bits from my novels..
but my story is like goin nowhere can...
shld i just delete it?
haix..
brain block..
anywayx..
went to tea garden wif hock and gou just now...
talk like siao and eat like mad..
haha...
quite funny...
oh yah,anyone reading this...wanna go study wif me next wk?!
call me if u wanna k...
niu ah...
i wanna go zai zai's signing..
dunno why i'm saying that also...
i just wanna go...
cos i nvr go any f4's signing b4...
if u ask me go vanness one..
i oso dun mind...
but defo not KEN ZHU THAT HORRIBLE PIG!!
anyone dare to ask me go,i'll strangle u to death sia...
dunno why...
dui ta you pian jian..
ok...
i wanna write as many chps todae..
update as many as possible and jump str8 into the middle after exams!!
thanks belle.
u too kays?
i posted chp 26th and boy are you in for a surprise!
something happened to ah di and jing yi.
umm..i dunno if it's good or bad.
felt the story was going nowhere with all the mushy stuff.
so i thickened the plot.
yupx..and dun expect the sweet sweet stuff in the following chapters.
the story is gonna become alive.
headache..pain..
stressed out sia.
i tink everyone's hooked onto that word huh?
then me,gou and hock started playing a trick on niu.
poor niu.
lolx.
we went to class while she was at S1 and we offed the lights and bang the wooden thingy seperating S1 and C2.
then they thought got ghost and started screaming.
wahaha.
gou says it's very de-stressing.
whoa.
then some one say they got weapons,quote:"we have weapons!I got my water bottle!"
tt's like..DUMB.
anywayx..got my haircut..
quite short but quite relieved oso..hehx..
my story is quite ok i guess..
comments not that much..
but at least i noe pple like enx,niu,candice,belle,sh and maybe janice reads it.
i wrote kunda and rui rui's chp in the com lab within 1/2 hr.
i tink i'm neglecting di and toro.
so i shall write theirs tmr.maybe shuwei's also if i'm free.
i'm trying to write those chps onto paper first.at least i dun have to sit in front on the com and type until my stupid injured fingers starts to work up again.
ok.
crapping alot.
best of luck guys!
i hate this blardie life.
i hate this sort of treatment.
i hate this batch of pple.
i've been thinking again.
about things.
i dun understand why i really put myself thru such pain and hardship.
my whole body is aching again.
this is god knows the how many nth time this has happened.
now the number has increased again.
*shakes head*
carn they juz leave us alone for the exams?
must they do it even near the exams?
i noe jie's sch doesn't do that.
juz cos they aren't crescent.
they're clementi town.
being in crescent is so diff. from other schs.
i asked jie alot abt their training and stuff..it's life a whole diff. world.
greet them and u get a black face back.
it's like they're not appreciative of our greetings.
and the whole idea of greeting in public.
totally no comments.
sam & co.,sorrie for typing this.
i really carn take it.
i need a normal life.
i want a normal life.
my arms ache this moment even when i'm typing.
whenever i move any part of my body,there is the pain.
the pain WE are accounted for.
are we really that hateful?
i realli wish this would end.
i know if they read this,i would cause the platoon more trouble.
i'm sorry,but i'll go crazy if i dun let it out.
this is my blog and i'm not even allowed to write something i'm supposed to be proud of.
i'll still carry on writing this becos we'll still have to pay for it whether we like it or not.
i feel like i'm on the verge of major breakdown.
this didn't really occupy my mind so much in the past.
btw,i'm not complaining or bad-mouthing them.
i'm juz trying to figure it myself.
this is my problem,none of theirs.
i wish i had wings.
so i can fly away from this horrible world.
i miss my piggy jiejie!
no one to bully now...
haix.
been rewriting my stupid informal letter...
waste of time manx.
wrote enx and niu nai's chapter todae.
happy like siao can!
i still cannot believe i put en li as a ballerina!
i tink i gotta stop posting chapters liaox by sunday.
haix.
i hate chan weimeng.
she sux.
lose my paper.
got d&t tmr.
then gotta get that haircut i need real bad.
i only realised todae westlife has a new song.
that cannot be d/l on kazaa.
then i went to d/l pi li pa la!
machi didi rawks!!
i feel like i really need that sunrise and sunset.
got alot of things bottled in me.
alamak sh,u shldn't msg me on MSN..cos i saw an jun cai..
reminds me of JJ and that horrible nightmare of mine...
i listened to JJ's dong jie and right after that I had a nightmare ting wei and jun cai turned gay.
i tink JJ's harassing me manx!
i wanna go for all star concert.
but streaming.
i shan't go then.
JJ only,no biggie.
i dun care anyway.
hmm...
sinhui and niu ah...
u all want me treat u ya kun not?
for helping me wif ideas for fanfic(that would be sinhui) and for listening to me bug her like siao for ideas(that would be niu)..how?
ya kun only hor...
i not so rich one...
the rest of u'll...
sorrie lah...
not tt rich also...
pai seh...
eh,you both want tell me hor!
i talked to him last nite.
he claims he got no new target..liar!
haha,i got spy can!he got new target!
he kept asking me if i got new target so i told him the truth.
no,i don't.
i'm not ready to give boys time now.
i'm happy w/o them so..*shrugs*
besides,i got my lover liaox!~
lolx.
ok,guitar was so funny can!
we were saying if bin lang mei never come,i'll update 3 chappies of my FF and intro niu nai.
haha,if she came,i'll update 2 and not intro niu nai at all.
lolx.
she came.
muahah!~
then during the lesson,sinhui's fone rang.
our seating arrangement is:yinghui,me,sinhui.
she her fone rang halfway.
turns out she din off her fone.
then i was like "crap!"so loudly and took out my fone.
heng it's on silent then yinghui started checking her fone oso lor!
so funny cos we consecutively check our fone.
somemore we sit in a str8 line.
wahaha!~
everyone was laughing at us can!
so happy wif myself.
can play the first bar of yu jian on guitar!
yepx!
i wanna play MNMYMYT but no score.
cannot play.
haix.
todae..sad...
dun wanna talk abt it..
candice ah!
u can get in here already or not?
ok..
stupid niu say i very flirt..
i where got flirt...
i only have 1 lover k..
that's my darling –Ñ–Ñ’í!
kunda is gou "push" to me one..
always call me da sao..
da sao ur head lah!
then that shuwei one..
cos that time some stupid gal from AE claim toro like her..
so i was just kidding by saying "if toro like her,then shuwei like me liaox!"
no offense to anyone k..
i was juz stating an example..
yah..then that time i went to shake zhang mama's hand..
so gou keep saying i shake my mother-in-law's hand lor..
^%#*^(!&#^#&!^$)#!%$&*(#.
so now i got 3 lovers..
but i still love my –Ñ–Ñ’í only..
*blehX*
haix..
i'm telling u,he's as good as dead to me.
no feeling liaox.
totally numb.
thnx guys for cheerin' me up!=)
i noe he said he wun leave us..
but the other 4 how?
haix..
i want my –Ñ–Ñ..
ok,cannot cry.
must keep my part of the promise.
i'm emotionless now..
shld i be happy or sad?
it's not fair..
i nvr saw them as 5 together b4..
now toro left already..
i'm angry at toro..
why must you do this?
i have no idea how many tears i've shed for you ever since the whole contract saga started.
i'm tired toro,i dun wanna cry anymore.
i dun want to wake up one day knowing u're not with the other 4..
after reading shuwei's message..i noe i have to face reality.
i dun want to.
i want to hide and run away and be in my own world.
my world where energy consists of 5 pple.
u,kunda,ah di,niu nai and shuwei.
everytime i see or listen to zhi you wo,my heart feels empty.
i want to cry this moment,but at times,i get tired of crying.
sometimes i cry myself to sleep,sometimes when i'm juz sitting on the bus,i feel like crying.
i noe you've left and joined qiao jie li..
not that i'm very happy at your decision but i want you to be happy.
whenever i'm sad,i'll listen to the songs you wrote and of cos,energy's songs.
they cheer me up toro.
whenever i feel like giving up on the world,i watch all the vcds i have on energy and see that cute face of yours,my worries disappear.
i willed on and never to give up.
i remember hearing abt the contract thingy in july.
that was the month i was born in.
to receive such a b'dae present from you guys,it's just too hard to accept.
i remember how we cried in school just for energy to reunite.
energy has gotten me thru these past few months.
i only became a fan in march so i never meet all 5 of u together,esp u toro.
thank you toro.
thank you for making me happy these past 6 months.
and whenever you are,as long as you're happy,i'm happy.
and to the other 4,i also want to thank you guys as well.
ah di for that really lovely voice of yours.ëë,dun forget the promise we have.
kunda,i admit it now,i think u are really shuai can!your big puppy eyes really very kawaii.
niu nai,that cute bunny teeth of yours,your kawaii-ness..it just makes me smile everytime i see you.
shuwei,for being so kind to us.your family is really nice and for your sake,i'll strive on and learn my guitar properly so that the dream of playing µÚ¶þ´Î°®ÉÏÄã can be fulfilled.
energy,ÎÒÏÖÔھʹðÓ¦ÄãÃÇ,ÓÀÔ¶Ò²²»ËµÔÙ¼û.
Took my hand
Touched my heart
Held me close
You were always there
By my side
Night and day
Through it all
Maybe come what may
Swept away on a wave of emotion
Overcaught in the eye of the storm
And whenever you smile
I can hardly believe that you're mine
Believe that you're mine
This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
I feel that my heart just can't deny
Each time I look in your eyes
Oh baby, I know why
This love is unbreakable
Shared the laughter
Shared the tears
We both know
We'll go on from here
Cause together we are strong
In my arms
That's where you belong
I've been touched by the hands of an angel
I've been blessed by the power of love
And whenever you smile
I can hardly believe that you're mine
This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
Each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
I feel that my heart just can't deny
Each time you whisper my name
Oh baby, I know why
This love is unbreakable
Through fire and flame
When all this over
Our love still remains
This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakeable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
I feel that my heart just can't deny
Each time you whisper my name
Oh baby, I know why
Cause each time I look in your eyes
Oh baby, I know why
This love is unbreakable
my love for you guys will be unbreakable.
love,paula
what i'm gonna say now is gonna be quite insulting to some pple.
so b4 i start,if i do offend u in a way or another,i'm sorry.
i was watching the energy tv special on dong feng yesterday...
all 5 were there cos it was filmed b4 the contract thingy..
so touching that image..
but i was quite uneasy seeing 5 of them.
as in i'm used to seeing 4..
sorrie toro..
but i feel disappointed in you.
you leave energy and join qiao jie li..
wat's your problem?
you want your buddies to let all their hard work and dream fly out of the window?
sigh..
i'm holding back tears but i wun shed another tear for u toro!
unless you come out and give me a reasonable reason as to why u join qiao jie li!
do u noe i hate 5566 becos of that?!
i mean like..
i like energy more than 5566..
so..please dun break them up...
i noe u dun wish to..
but i dun want to wake up one day knowing that i carn see ah di,kunda,shuwei and niu nai.
sigh.
toro,give me a reason!
nvm..he wun read oso..
ok..not really blogging these days..
pai seh..
umm..i discussed the story plot wif sh todae..
thanks gal..ur suggestions really helped!
hehe..i know how to develop the story liaox...
that cyborg thingy todae was a total waste of time...
the cameras were so extra and i feel asleep during the talk..
haha..
cannot blame..
really very boring!
but then,if it was kunda giving a talk on mathematics,i wun mind no matter how much i hate that subject!
haha,wishful thinking pau.
ok..gonna post some more chappies on winglin..
juz for some of u who dunno..
my story's link is : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/paula
oh..give belle some support oso k?
here's the links:
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/belletan
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/belletan2
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/belletan3
okie dokies!the url is oso under the links section k!
ciao.
sob sob sob.
watched turn left turn right.
it's quite dumb but i found the plot very interesting.
***
''i feel like i've lost my shadow''
''destiny is when you love that person,and that person loves you back.''
***
haix.
skin peeling.
ouch.
total died in sch todae.
oral was freaky.
i was facing this stone can!
my fanfic's up!
totally out of ideas now.
check it out and leave comments k!
thnx!
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/paula
it's not the typical love story.
i want to focus on different aspects of life like friendship and family and of cos,love.
that's why my title is believing.
believing in something.
becos from this journey,i want to start believing in something.
love.
ok.
i shan't tag on my board cos i'd REALLY flood it.
so to save space,i shall answer all the qns here.
***
to sam:
love ya to bits gal!
thnx so much.
i noe i sound abit rude i think.
maybe cos i tend to see things on my P.O.V.
i feel so blessed to have pltn mates like u guys.
it's like frens that really stick by u thru hard times.
we've gone thru alot together,cried together,smiled together.
yeah,conflicts and all.
but u guys are still my bestest pals!
=)
lova ya'll!
we can do it bravo!
***
to belle:
yepx.
toro was supposedly in s'pore.
i tink.
then i go ur ej read the msg he posted.
yah...so abit weird lah.
u wanna noe wat happen go read gou's blog.
***
to candice:
haha.
i skipped sch.
unintentionally.
i wasn't really feelin' that well and i overslept.
muz be my bed too comfy.
feelin' damn stressed out these days.
problems and all.
***
to energy lover:
who are u?
i really wanna be frens with u.
so if u wanna drop me an email at kian_westlifeforever@hotmail.com unless i happen to noe u personally.
*grins*
***
to mandy:
hey.
umm i noe i might not noe u personally but glad to noe u love energy as well.
if u noe any other energy fans as well,get them to drop by here kays?
ok i admit i'm secretly happy u came by.
muahahah!~
u can go check out the E3 lyrics from the links i have.
eg. Energy Come On or Energy Milk Kunda Ah Di Shuwei Toro.
they've got great lyrics there.
*smiles*
***
i wanna share this super nice-y song with u guys.
it's from the lizzie mcguire soundtrack.
very nice altho it's abt love.
***
You've been searching the world to find true love,
Looking in all the wrong places.
When all of the time you've been blind to love,
It’s plain as the nose on your faces.
[Chorus]
It's here, it's now, open your eyes and see it.
Right here, right now, open your eyes to love.
You've been down on yourself thinking something’s wrong,
Wondering why love has never found you.
Don't you know its been right here all along,
If only you look around you.
[Chorus]
Love has been right by your side,
But, oh so close that you couldn't see,
If love could speak, it would shout to the sky,
I've always been here and I always will be...
I'm here, I'm now, open your eyes and see me,
Right here, right now, open your eyes to love.
Open your eyes...
Open your eyes to love.
Open your heart to love.
***
ahh...so happy todae.
shall go start on my fanfic.
todae damn good mood.
whee!~
You are Snow White!
What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
pui!
i snow white?
more like snow black rite?
so chao da liaox!
shoutout to belle:
thnx alot..umm...pai seh i accidently press enter b4 i even finish typing on my tagboard.
*****
ok.
feelin' extremely stressed out.
i detest,no wait,HATE saturdays!
pple for for CCA is happily go one.
why is it that i go there with a black face and still come back wif an even blacker face?
i noe i'm not suppose to say anything abt it lahx,but it's not like i'm dissing anyone from there rite?
so do i have to ask for permission to write my thoughts?
argh!
hate this kind of life.
i'm mentally prepared to die tmr.
seriously.
i rather jump off the building manx!
i rather die than suffer such treatment.
why put myself thru such torture?
it's not like they care anyway!
if they see this,i dun care.
juz want to say dying is way better than going thru hell on earth!
guys,chill kays?
i'm not gonna do anything stupid watsoever.
juz trying to depict the horrible life there k?
anyways,din go sch todae.
it wasn't planned or anything.
i juz din feel well lahx.
haix.
majorly depressed.
i dread every saturday manx.
it used to be so fun and i always looked forward to it,but now,everything has changed.
somebody save me!
gonna go SGH later.
cya.
hmms...
went for my guitar ''lessin'' yest.
lolx,i noe it's lame.
it was cool except for carolee.
like i care.
ewws.
then go ramen shop to eat wif sh.
so cool!
shan't tell u wat happen.
belle u guys shld noe liao hor?
yupx.
todae my skin started peeling.
ewws can.
totally knocked out todae.
for the past 4 days,kept waking up at 4am to study.
i'm gonna sleep at 9 tonite manx.
i wanna watch turn left turn right on sat.
yupx.
mum's gotta sponser.
ok
i wanna go shower.
gonna write in the NB agains.
yupx sam.
i'm got ALOT of comments can!
ciao.
ok.
so luck wasn't excactly on my side todae.
yeps.
go PS the stupid shop got no guitar case.
haix.
so i restorted to covering the name with paper?
okays.
it's umm... weird?
watched 'what a girl wants' this morning at 4am.
i'm not nuts kay.
juz dunno.
felt like watching.
hahax.
music test.
freak-ky kay!
i couldn't blow the high 'E'.
thank god it's over.
i hate top of the world.
eww.
ok.
i wanna learn ting xie.
wrote in the notebook.
felt so much better.
i dunno why i still put up with such agony!
btw,enx,pai seh,forgot ur prezzie again.
and belle ah,ur leg hor..tc lehx..
i know the feeling cos i'm accident prone remember?
i juz walk past a shelf can also cut my finger lor!
wah lau.
kays.
ciao.
and i still carn get ard the habit of putting the time.
so i'm giving up the whole idea.
it was lame anyways.
ok.
new rule.
i'm adding the time i post every entry kay.
juz for some reasons.
anywayx,i tink i shld go into writing love stories.
i guess it's juz me being naive huh?
believing in love and all.
i mean like,have i realli felt love?
as in BGR love from him?
seriously,i dun tink so.
yupx.
come to think of it,he was dam possessive.
i only realised it when i came across this phrase on the net.
''are you sure you've been in love?"
so i gave it some thought and i realised.
it's juz so fake.
argh!
u noe when i wrote for my zuo wen that the guy character totally gave up love,i was putting myself in his shoes even tho he's a guy.
seriously,i haven't.
it's way too early to give it up now.
it's way too early to give mine to someone else too.
i realli do believe in fate as well.
fate taught me alot of lessons.
seriously.
i have no idea why am i crappin' bout love.
muz be the whole zuo wen craze.
zhao fang said mine could be written for a movie.
excuse me!
i used JJ's lyrics!
that's like totally not movie material!
anywayx,dunno why i wrote it until so sad like tt.
i'm still anti-guys k.
*smirks*
[11.09pm]
nothing much to comment.
totally pissed off.
so i'm telling u now,back off and leave me alone!
btw,happy bdae enx!
pai seh,ur prezzie,nvr bring.
*blehx*
oh,and if i dun blog tmr,happy bdae sher!
i went mad todae.
yupx.
bought the whole entire supermarket's food.
ok,i'm juz kidding.
juz stacked up on my food lors...
i feel like creating another blog or something.
a private one.
yupx.
so i can write watever i want.
i miss the feeling of freedom.
i hate this life.
i hate my life.
btw,thnx xuan!
i feel so much better after screaming it out.
my mum is being major mum-ish.
cos like i'm like trying to save cash now!
yupx.
total broke.
record spending for the last 2 wks.
so now,everyone,DO NOT ASK ME OUT TILL MID-OCTOBER!
serious.
cos i gotta depend on my mum for cash.
which means i gotta go out wif her only.
in which i dun mind. (:
she said my outfit yest. was ok for going to great world.
but not for concert.
tt's like so dumb!
hello?
i'm sunburnt.
u want me to wear long pants?
siao.
so in the end i juz wore my berms.
haix.
totally hate sch.
i'm so total un-guai this hols.
i need time!
can someone plz turn back the clock for me?!
and i got a whole lot of movies not watched yet.
turn left turn right,hollywood homicide(major eye candy movie!*winks*)
crap.
super late liaox.
muz shower.
ciao.
tmr sch opening.
sob!
i tink i wanna cry!
hmm..i was thinking of getting this notebook and record down all my ''zhui'' xing experience.
cos i carn seem to remember them.
lolx.
ok.
energy power concert 2003.
i got ALOT of things to talk abt them.
but then i noe tmr i go sch sure will tell u guys again.
so i shan't type it down.
wat i juz wanna say is WEI DI RAWKS!HE SO SHUAI!
sorrie lah niu.
he's shuai cans!
rite gou?
hehx.
totally had fun wif zhiying yest.
i tink we are making frens wif zhiying real well can.
qiqi,rebecca and monica as well.
i still dun believe gou went to the hotel this morn. and saw niu nai's back.
oh,i wanna add something for niu.
i'm not thick skin k!
his mummy very nice...
hand very smooth.
haha.
and di's mummy look quite young!
and i tink i'm falling in love with the ENTIRE energy can!
yes!incl. shuwei!
but i'll always be faithful to di one!
*blehx*
my sunburn not that pain liaox.
whew!
TBC is my dream team sia!
dance so cool!
oh,niu nai they all say they dun like bin lang!
i love u guys to bits man!
can someone plz lend me that interview tape?!
i want to hear how funny kunda sound when he say he hold his um..(in a nice way)niao4.
yucks.
i tell you,our bie ku sign was dam funny can!
we did it like in 5 secs?
and they saw!
well,i do remember screaming di dun cry!
lolx.
niu nai was so cute yest!
the stupid newspapers are writing rubbish again!
wat pple scream toro den they cry!
bullshit!
i tink no one remembered toro until energy mentioned it k!
(well,i admit i din lah!sorrie lah!)
oh,and the reporters got no taste one!
why go waste their film on AE?
tsk.
use ur brain,use ur brain!
ok lahx,i wanna ZzZzzZ liaox.
b4 i go,i wanna add again,ENERGY RAWKS!
[edited]
ok,i officially announce that i cannot live w/o the computer!
hehx.
totally chao da now.
i'm sunburnt can?
haix.
east coast that hand shaking thingy sucks can.
we went there like 6.30 am?
and so MANY pple jump queue?
then got free show some more.
AE quarrel mah!
the hand shaking thingy hor,they came late.
45 mins late.
and shake for how long?
LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR.
hello?
my hand still very cleen u noe?
why?
cos i din even get to go up.
i was crying cans?
cos alot of unreasonable pple cut queue.
cos ah di was so ke lian can.
some stupid idiots went to push his back can!
do you noe he was hurting until he had to sit down and shake their hands while the other 3 stood up?
do you noe he was crying and had to be helped by the guards cos he was in too much pain to get back to the van?
do you noe those fans still went to push his back?
he had to shake those bitches hands even when they hurt him!
now u noe why i hugged that cushion so much even tho he just grabbed it.
i can still imagine that scene in my mind.
he was so poor thing.
i was crying like wat.
i dunno..
and the worst was my knee started hurting cos it was really badly sunburnt.
and i din even get to shake their hand let alone see them!
the first time i cried at a huo dong.
all my FIRSTs were given to Energy.
my FIRST time chasing them like mad until we even went to their hotel.
my FIRST time crying for my idols at their huo dong.
my FIRST time staying out juz for them.eg going for chalet.
my FIRST time not spending mid-autumn at home.
my FIRST time being sunburnt was because of them.
haix.
we went to their hotel todae.
me and gou.
wif qiqi,rebecca and monica.
wah lau.
so scary can.
we were waiting like at the marina sq. outside there.
near the lifts.
so cute can.
gou noticed kunda in the lift.
the lift is made of glass,so can see thru.
then he was playing with the lift.
he kept pressing diff. floors.
then we were like jumping like siao outside screaming ''kunda!!"
then he din notice lah.
maybe cos he kept facing the door.
then got some woman inside.
she dam good can!
she see us waving and screaming then she(she is not a fan.quite old lor.ard 30?) kept calling kunda by pulling his bag.
then kunda like never turn back lah.
then she started whacking his bag dam hard cans!
so funny!
she whack until kunda turn ard and he wave to us lor!
his facial expression abt the zhan can!
look so gong.
i was laughing until stomach pain not cos kunda wave.
but cos that woman whack his bag until dam funny sia.
then we were like screaming!!
but i was sad cos not di.
haix.
then we went into the lobby there.
me and gou saw yellow ge and yuqing jie.
oh manx can!
he looked so kunda-ish!
then suddenly they(EG) walk out of the lift.
we were juz one floor above them.
and shuwei was wearing this towel on his head and carrying his guitar.
which means he's playing the guitar tmr.
i din even see di or niu nai.
so sad.
then EG go liaox.
then after that we were like standing at the escalator.
u noe who we saw?
NIU NAI'S BROTHER!!
yes,his younger bro.
look like niu nai can!
but not shuai at all.
he looks edison-ish.
the crew cut and diamond earring and all.
gou said his gf more chio.
dunno lah.
din notice.
after that my mum order me go home.
no fair.
wanted to go indoor wif gou and qiqi.
so pissed off can!
my tuition t'cher's fren who used to work at the hotel EG is staying at RESIGN can!
idiot.
if not sure can go in one.
qiqi was saying EG look very CHIO can!
haha.
and she was like ''ah di muz be got op b4!"
wah lau.
and her that ''hsiao mao'' board.
laugh like siao can!!
ok lahx.
i want to cry liaox.
sunburnt dam pain.
i only realised now.
dreams dun come true.
*****
Love is enough, though the World be a-waning,
And the woods have no voice, but the voice of complaining,
Though the sky be too dark, for dim eyes to discover
The gold-cups and daisies fair blooming thereunder,
Though the hills be held shadows, and the sea a dark wonder,
And this day draw a veil over all deeds pass'd over,
Yet their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter;
The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter
These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.
*****
the stanza above is not abt energy.[note:NOT]
pai seh.
i want to add something.
ALERT EVERY SINGLE RELATIVE OF YOURS AND TELL THEM NEVER TO LISTEN TO DING ZHI YONG'S SHOW OK!
THAT BASTARD IS AN ASSHOLE!A LIAR!
oww.
head pains.
bought the bottles.
goin chalet tmr.
i wanna go escape.
haven do hw.
the stupid brainiest show is on tv.
qns so kns.
wah lau.
i can also join but i'm 14 liaox!
totally hooked onto yu jian.
gou saw him juz now.
i also wanna see him.
no fair.
me think he gonna be at east coast or pasir ris that area too.
haix.
*****
What is love?
Love
It is hard to forget a person you have once love,
But why we still one to get involve in it?
Love is such a strange thing,
No one can predict it,
It can come and go in an instant,
Leave you happy and sad memories,
It might break your heart and leave you crying by yourself,
or it might filled your life with colours,
but most importantly,
it will leave a scar in your heart,
will could never be erase....
*****
all i noe is i've given up on love totally.
crap!!
my hair is like kiam cai now.
cos i juz woke up.
lolx.
from the back it's curling like jay's.
so cool.
no need go salon can become liddat liaox.
oh sam.
i'm nuts.
i noe.
watched they jay thingy on tv last nite wif niu.
so dumb cans.
i tink i losing my voice.
shit.
thurs can forget abt screaming.
oww.
wanna eat.
881~
juz read belle's ej.
AH DI ROCKS!
haha!
i'm so happy!!
hsiao jing hong!
whee!~
i love ya!~
i dun like xie kunda!
but i carn get him outta my head!
i keep seeing pics of him and di together.
SHIT LOR.
poor di.
i feel so bad.
i noe the meaning of pain now.
altho my finger was not that serious.
but it's dam pain cans.
and di's back is worse off.
*sobx*
ah di!~
haha.
niu is INFLUENCED.
wohoo!~
energy rawks.
watched legally blonde wif xuan and sy todaes.
so dumb cans!
and my mum still forced me to go to chinese garden!
yucks.
i've been having dreams.
abt kunda.
freaky lor!
tt's like so unlucky cans!
anywayx.
i hate ho yeow sun!
go and die lah!
pui!
hope ur next album flop,nobody buy at all.
hmpf.
i miss ah di.
i wanna comfort him.
but dream on lah,pau!
so sad abt di.
sob sob.
been watching all the energy vcds lately.
been pms-ing alot lately.
having mood swings lately.
i dunno why i keep thinking abt kunda!
i dunno why everytime that image of di lying on the road crying keeps coming into my mind.
oh,btw,i LOVE kunda!
he's so shuai cans!
i wanna go get bottles tmr!
ok,talking to niu nows.
stupid dong dong is singing perfect love on dong feng.
go and die lahx,lao bu si.
i want to write fanfic!!
but no time.
sobx.
i tink i after streaming than go write one.
hehx.
muz consider my characters.
hmm...
who ahx?
i dun like F4.
i lazy write abt 5566.
haha.
so final choice shall be Energy.
got alot of inspiration now.
hehx.
october than write.
muz support me k!
i'm still lacking of sleep even tho i slept straight 13 hrs since last nite.
yucks.
ho yeow sun won.
screw her lahx.
cannot stand her manx.
she used energy's name.
how can liddat?!
oh and i hate to admit this.
i think i got dian4 by kunda yesterday.
shit.
argh,pau,wake up!!
u cannot like him!
and gou is acknowledging that di's not that bad after all.
haha.
i'm gonna be super evil and not say what kunda said to me yesterday.
u want to know,ask me urself.
hehx.
i'm falling sick i'm telling u.
and i'm gonna blame them for this.
i was writing my guts out in di's letter on sat.
i was like we waited for u guys for so long and u were late for an hr half.
then ur face so black.
din even bother abt us at all.
all 4 of u.
my gastric started again and my hand became worse can!
it like started hurting during the night cos i din go for treatment juz cos u were late!
i noe i'm abit the bad lah..
but like that than they guilty mahx.
ok,tt's so evil.
ok,shan't talk anymore.
i'm trying to get kunda out of my head.
ew.
shit shit shit!!
haven print the piccies yet!
forgot totally abt the zuo wen!
CRAP.
thanx xuan,love ya so much!
she help me print!
hehx!!
spent the whole nite wif huang gou listening(for her) and watching(me,webcam) energy.
then go look for piccies.
p.s:belle,AH DI IS NOT WIF THAT STUPID CECELIA!HE IS SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE!
besides,cecelia is like ugh,way too old for him.
then todae zhiying say her fren's fren is toro's gf?!
wtf lor.
he everyday go gallavanting wif that woman while we cry and cry for him?
disgusted.
but then again,dunno lor.
if she chio then cans lahx.
if energy want to hv gf,can.
i wun protest.
as long muz look compatible wif them and treat them HUMANLY,not some money tree hor!
that's the only condition.
di so ke lian.
but he like bending his legs up,so kawaii!
niu nai!!
so cute!!
still carn forget that ''whoa!" look lor!!
oh yah,belle,i was the one who brought ur album up.
niu brought candice's.
and note.
my finger is non functional now!
it's like..bandaged?
urgh...no comments.
that guy tui until so pain.
tmr see energy i want to scold them liaox.
hmpf.
jk lahx.
wo bu ren xin lahx...(:
kk,wanna sleep.
totally lack of sleep sia.
okays.
it's 10.42p.m,3 Sept 2003 now.
i juz got back from the Energy signing!
OH MY GOD.
ok..so my mum went to wait wif me.
hehx.
then we got so call scolded at the other entrance.
so sickening.
so we got stuck by the side lor,wif all the dumb dumb sound system.
then there was like this major bitch behind me who din allow me to step on the barrier cos she wanted to take fotos.
uh,hello?
i'm like one head shorter than u lor!
u say i block u?
gou was like standing the whole time and no one complained.
they was late for ard 45 mins.
zhi yong remembered me as the ''birthday in july'' gal.
lolx.
lame.
then li yi so chio cans!
then they sang tui mo lu and zhi you wo.
sobx.
niu nai kept waving to us on that side.
and ah di din even turn there.
bad di.
so we queue lor.
go according to no. mahx.
then we go up so suay lor!
zhiyong that birdbrain say wu xian zhi for the albums.
then until our turn only can sign one.
then i went up,qiqi also bought bak gua for di.
then kena rejected cos the stupid gong zuo ren yuan say no food stuff accepted.
so he had this look like ''i wanna eat..'' and watched qiqi walk off wif his food.
so cute!
then mine was bigger packet mahx,then i was ''HAR!?why liddat?!"
cos i slammed the big big packet in front of him.
his face was like following where i went cos 2 times in a row no free bak gua.
lolx.
besides he saw qiqi walk off and he look at me once then he look down.
then when i said i wanted to give him bak gua,he look up again.
greedy di!
then i put the piglet beanie in front of shuwei.
he was like "xie xie!" and he smiled so brightly.
[ok fine,he's not that bad ok?]
then niu nai was like smiling until his eyes mi qi lai.
so cute!
and i juz slammed the rabbit sweet and gummy that was in the box onto the table and the stupid H.O.S paper flew out lor!
so malu!!
then kunda,i juz smiled and nodded at him.
his eyes dam freaky.
orange colour one.
niu and i were freaked out!
then after that tt birdbrain zhiyong say can queue again.
but the stupid security dun let us.
i was close to tears cos i feel like i let down my frens.
and screaming cos they dun give di his fav. food!
how can they deprive him of his nutrition?!
hahax.
then we went hmv walk.
then when we were walking bk to taka,turns out got extra 200 tix lor.
so defo we jump at the chance rite?!
duh.
this is ENERGY.
TENSION can go twice cos no one at all.
not ENERGY.
so we went.
called sinhui.
so kelian,her dinner.
lolx.
then we went up i told ah di,''ah di,zhe ge gei ni."
he look up and say "xie xie!"
and gou juz passed him the bak gua.
so happy!
then shuwei smiled at me again.
(:
then cos kunda there got stuck so niu nai was quite ''free'' lahx.
then i gave the book(sorrie lah!i sotong,first time go up forget!too nervous!).
cos i flipped to the niu nai page,wif the ''wo shi niu nai!"
and i gave him and said,"niu nai,zhe ge gei ni."
u noe wat was his reaction?!
he was like jump back and said "WHOA!"
he said it so loud even niu at the back can hear lor.
SO CUTE!~
[enli,i noe ur screaming cos u coloured it.]
he was like so impressed like that.
and i was "ni yao du wor!"
he was like ''hao ah!" and he flashed his signature bunny smile to me.
i was smiling like some idiot lor!
kunda juz smiled at me.
i was screaming like siao when i went down lor.
haha!
i tell u ahx..
i better go think of wat to draw or photocopy again for turf city on fridae.
oh manx.
hmm...wat's cute and kawaii?!
hand cramp.
stupid chinese font.
lyra colour pencils is such poor material!
yucks.
and i thought it was suppose to be good!
the stupid green and yellow is now 3/4 gone.
cos the stupid lead keeps breaking.
argh.
i felt like a total idiot todae.
abit the hyper.
todae's niu nai's b'dae!!
yay!!
happy burfday!
tmr is gonna be total chaos.
i tink i'm being paranoid as usual.
so that woman comes and act sweet to me again.
eeuk.
keep urself away from me!
carn be bothered wif her.
the thing is,i dun want her to turn up tmr!
hmpf.
totally pissed off.
bought ah di's bak gua todae.
my mum was totally jealous.
cos she say i nvr buy such things for her yet i can buy it for my idols.
i was like ''if they dun want it tmr,i bring home let u eat lor!"
hehex.
so evil.
i noe.
todae we were re-living our 2nd childhood.
lolx.
colour the ultraman.
so cute cans!
and i finish the book!
so happy!~
went to check out the site todae wif gou.
wah kao,AE was there but only less than 15 pple.
typical s'porean.
then one idiot was drawing this kunda board.
hmpf.
my mum agreed to queue wif me tmr.
so weird.
anyways,i have to bribe her lor.
u guys owe me one okay!
i mean ALL of YOU who asked me to bring the cds for signing.
i can see my money fly away now.*sobx*
this week dam busy.
tmr got signing.
fri got another signing.
sat got the roadshow.
heng my mum bought extra memory card liaox.
hehx.
i wanna take piccies of the book.
so beautiful.
qing tian rox.
i'm not gonna change my ringtone(currently:qingtian) tmr.
dun care.
i muz go memorise yong yuan bu shuo zai zian.
if not tmr sure dam malu.
and i haven't heard the whole song even ONCE lor.
failure.
881~
i wanna cry.
i wanna give up.
give up on this dream.
it's impossible.
it cannot be fulfilled.
i hate her.
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